Skip over navigation

Posts by ashley brooke roberts

Your State's Most Popular Emoji, Decoded

By Ashley Brooke RobertsAugust 26, 2015
Forget the official state bird—nothing says state pride quite like an emoji, and now, thanks to the good folk at SwiftKey, we know which U.S. state has the strongest hold on each emoji. Someone at SwiftKey, whose actual real job it is to spend hours worrying ... More  →
Your State's Most Popular Emoji, Decoded
The "We Didn't See That" Review of <i>Lucy</i>

The "We Didn't See That" Review of Lucy

By Ashley Brooke RobertsJune 29, 2015
It was just announced that there will be a sequel to the 2014 Scarlett Johansson action flick Lucy. But what if you haven't seen the first one? Well, you could go buy the DVD or find it streaming somewhere. But that's awfully pedestrian. How about ... More  →

We've Got Your Summer Horoscope-and We Based It Solely on Your Shoe Choice

By Ashley Brooke RobertsJune 11, 2015
The summer solstice is NIGH, dear Sparklers, and while some people trust planetary alignment to reveal their destinies and lead them to true happiness, we thing astrology is a little done. We’d much rather look deep into your SOLES (see what we did there?) to ... More  →
We've Got Your Summer Horoscope-and We Based It Solely on Your Shoe Choice

6 Harry Potter Life Hacks Better Than Felix Felicis!

By Ashley Brooke RobertsJune 8, 2015
Holy Hogwarts, Potter fans! If you've ever stormed out of a Starbucks in a huff(lepuff) because it just didn't feel MAGICAL enough (plus you weren't even thirsty; you just wanted to flirt with Madam Rosmerta), we have amazing news for you! We just learned of ... More  →
6 Harry Potter Life Hacks Better Than Felix Felicis!

Yes, This Hoodie Has a Pouch for Your Cat

By Ashley Brooke RobertsMay 28, 2015
Today, we unearthed our list of Completely Unnecessary Things (e.g. edible bread gloves, shoe umbrellas, control-alt-delete sticks) so that we could make room for the latest in cat-related inventions: an article of clothing that will allow you to velcro a feline to your abdominal region. That's ... More  →
Yes, This Hoodie Has a Pouch for Your Cat

What's Your Star Trek TNG Sign?

By Ashley Brooke RobertsMay 15, 2015
Happy New TNG Year! As you all know, May 14th marked the end of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, which means May 15th, today, is the first day in a new TNG year. Woohoo! To celebrate we’ve hired the top scientist of our generation to create a TNG zodiac More  →
What's Your Star Trek TNG Sign?

Resume From a High School Graduate Who Has Never Had a Job

By Ashley Brooke RobertsMay 13, 2015
Greetings, soon-to-be graduates and esteemed diploma-holding earthlings! The season of new beginnings is upon us, and while some are drowning in pollen and snot and/or polleny snot, others are looking towards the Claritin-clear future (of receiving paychecks not written from your mom's personal checkbook for ... More  →
Resume From a High School Graduate Who Has Never Had a Job
What Your Go-To Instagram Filter Says About You

What Your Go-To Instagram Filter Says About You

By Ashley Brooke RobertsMay 12, 2015
Ahoy young Ansel Adamses! What is a pretty day if not a great photo opp? While you’re cropping, and InstaSizing, and choosing the right filter, your followers are learning all about you. The secret you. Like handwriting or tea leaves, your filter choice reveals distinct, More  →

Scout Finch Fixes Cranky Old Etiquette Guides

By Ashley Brooke RobertsApril 21, 2015
There is a whole industry devoted to telling girls how they should and shouldn't behave, and we think it is bollocks (oh, we will WEAR SCRUNCHIES IF WE WANT), but no one has ever been better at telling the Emily Posts of the world to ... More  →
Scout Finch Fixes Cranky Old Etiquette Guides
Tumblr King Jim Tews Tells Us About Studying the Feline Condition in Hilare Tumblr "Felines of New York"

Tumblr King Jim Tews Tells Us About Studying the Feline Condition in Hilare Tumblr "Felines of New York"

By Ashley Brooke RobertsMarch 31, 2015
NO MORE CONTROLLING US WITH YOUR VOICELESS SASS, CATS OF THE WORLD! Now we have a peek into what kitty cats are thinking with the wonderfully whimsical and slightly arch Tumblr, "Felines Of New York."You may be aware of the original exercise in people cataloging, "Humans o More  →
About the Author
Ashley Brooke Roberts

Ashley Brooke Roberts is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor living in Brooklyn. She's a performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and can usually be found smiling at random dogs on the street. Follow her on twitter at @AshleyBRoberts.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.