Like most people, I sold my soul to Marvel long ago in exchange for cool fight sequences, hot outfits, and (spoiler alert) the utter heartbreak of watching half the characters I’ve come to know and love fade away into dust and nothingness.
Even if you have somehow never seen a Marvel movie, you likely know that Robert Downey Jr. plays Iron Man, that the rest of the actors are mostly called Chris, and that every movie ends with at least one post-credits scene because Marvel hates me and my small bladder specifically.
Now, unlike most people, my job is to make classic literature accessible to the modern reader. Previously, I’ve done it with single sentences, pie charts, and quotes from The Office. Today, I’m doing it with quotes from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, because what better way to make the classics accessible that than by summing them up in quotes from the most culturally ubiquitous and universally adored superhero franchise? (Sorry DC, but you know what you did.)