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7 Movie Adaptations Made by People Who Apparently Didn't Read the Book

Buena Vista Pictures

Credit:

'The Book Thief'

Here’s what I think went down:

“I want to adapt The Book Thief, but I don’t have time to read the book,” a filmmaker says to his assistant. “Tell me what happens.”

“Okay, so there’s this girl. Liesel. She’s poor and constantly starving.”

“Poor people don’t look good on camera, Craig,” says the filmmaker. “I want this movie to win OSCARS. Let’s give her nice clothes and perfect hair. What else?”

“Well, there’s this guy Max. He’s Jewish. He’s hiding from the Nazis in Liesel’s basement. He almost dies of malnutrition.”

“Make sure he’s hot. What else?”

“In the end, their whole neighborhood gets bombed. Liesel’s best friend, Rudy, dies without ever confessing his love. Here’s the thing, though: he didn’t have to say it. Liesel already knew, and she loved him back but she never said it, and now she’ll never get to. She kisses his lifeless body in the street, begging him not to be dead, but it’s far too late, and she didn’t even get to say good-bye.”

“Cool, so we’ll be changing all of that.”

“Good idea, sir.” 

“And also let’s make sure his hair looks good. Being on the brink of death is no excuse not to have perfectly coiffed hair.”

Topics: Books
Tags: harry potter, books we love, the shining, frankenstein, a series of unfortunate events, the book thief, jk rowling, harry potter and the deathly hallows, film adaptations, a clockwork orange, characters we love, blade runner, hp, some of them didn't even read the sparknotes

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Elodie

In real life, she goes by the name Courtney Gorter. This is a closely guarded secret, and you're the only one who knows about it, so be cool. You can follow her on Twitter or check out her website if you want, but it's just going to be a lot of complaining.

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