How to Celebrate Valentine's Day When You're Single AF

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day When You're Single AF

New Line Cinema/How to Be Single

If you’re planning to spend February 14th lying face-down in the candy aisle of CVS, pausing in between sobs to eat 72 mini Twix bars (oof, we’ve all been there), then this post is for you. Read it, and you’ll realize that A: there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single (does Rihanna seem sad about it? SHE DOES NOT), and B: there’s a sh%*-ton of fun stuff to do on Valentine’s Day regardless of your relationship status, and none of it includes crying in a grocery store.

PUPPIES!  Puppies are pretty much the #1 solution to any problem; it’s hard to feel anything but euphoric when you’re gazing into the big doe-y eyes of a newborn doggo.  Have you ever seen a pup try to figure out STAIRS? There’s literally nothing better. And FYI, you don’t have to own a pup to enjoy all the pup-perks—just scroll through Instagram or Youtube, and before you know it you'll have spent 19 hours squee-ing at adorable corgi butts and February 14th will be over.

Get your Gal/Palentine’s Day on! Make plans with your core crew today, even if that just means trading Snapchats with your bestie or making a Chipotle run with your pals (9 orders of chips and guac for 3 people? YUP, sounds about right). The important thing is that you surround yourself with people who make you laugh—and/or with people who are willing to watch The Notebook with you for the millionth time and pretend not to notice when you dissolve into tears and scream "OH GOD, WHY IS LIFE SO CRUEL" at the ending. 

Pamper yo' self! Buy some of those serial killer-esque face masks that celebs are always Instagram-ing about, get a manicure, or finally replace those old blush brushes you know went to sh*t 3 months ago. If spending money’s not an option, there are plenty of free things you can do to indulge, too—like watch a Youtube vid and learn how to flawlessly apply wing tip eyeliner, or take a long bubble bath while re-reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (do NOT, under any circumstances, read Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince, or Deathly Hallows, unless you're in the mood to be emotionally wrecked).

Don’t worry, be YONCE.  Need we say more? (Ok, if we NEED say more, we'll just say that dancing by yourself  to every song on Lemonade is pretty much the best way any one, single or not, could spend any day, ever.) 

Swipe the day away. #REALTALK: It’s 2018, and literally everyone is using apps to date. Swiping through Tinder, Bumble or Hinge to check out people's profiles is at worst boring and at best HILARIOUS—and hey, if these nerds can do it, so can you. 

Netflix and chillax. Break out your most comfortable sweatpants & a big bowl of raw cookie dough, and then prepare for an awesome night of not having to argue with an S.O. over what to watch,. For a whole year you’ve been pretending to understand Stranger Things references, so now's the time to find out what the deal is with Eggos and why everyone is so into this bro now. And if creepy shows aren't your thing, you really, truly cannot go wrong re-watching The Office.   

Netflix and hyperventilate with fear. Watching a horror movie when you’re feeling down is a SPECTACULAR idea. Get 5 minutes into any of these and you'll forget why you were sad, because you will literally be too terrified to think of anything other than immediately fortifying your house against murderers/ghosts/evil spirits/weird children. 

Spend the day with us. If it's only 3 PM and you've already eaten all your cookie dough and you're wondering how you'll get through the rest of the day, COME JOIN THIS PARTY. We have valentines from fictional characters (we can say without a doubt that you are better at flirting than all of them put together), Snapchats from the greatest love story ever told (spoiler alert: THINGS END BADLY), and Elodie's entire archive, which includes the most profoundly hilarious written works of this, or any, century. So snuggle up on your couch and hang out with us—and remember, if Harry Potter could survive both Voldemort and his innumerable, inexplicably bad haircuts, you can certainly get through Valentine's Day. WE BELIEVE IN YOU, AWESOME NERDS.


Topics: Life
Tags: valentine's day, crushes, being single, online dating, netflix, treat yo self, happy singles awareness day, single on valentines day, how to be single and happy, the time for cookie dough and corgi butts is now

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About the Author
Christi Chiello

Armed with a quirky voice, intense musical theatre background and ridiculous love for pop culture; Christi Chiello disarms you with cuteness while slinging her unique, hilarious brand of absurd humor – making her one of New York City’s fastest rising comics. Christi has performed in The New York Comedy Festival, The Women in Comedy Festival & The Jersey City Comedy Festival. She's featured at major comedy clubs in New York & Los Angeles and her outlandish original characters have generated over 20 million views on YouTube. You can hear Christi's many voices in the upcoming animated feature "The Champion."

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