February Love-o-Scopes!!

20th Century Fox/The Fault in Our Stars


Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Yours is the most protective and caring of the signs, Cancer, so if anyone is about to shoot a bazooka at a puppy, you should courageously step in and recommend petting the puppy instead. Remember this month that love is blind, like a crayfish, and frequently gross, like a crayfish. Your Romance Tip of the Month is to leave your significant other a trail of rose petals, all the way into the florist where you smashed all of the roses due to clumsiness. This way, perhaps he will be arrested instead of you.

Topics: Life
Tags: valentine's day, flirting, dating, crushes, astrology, horoscopes, the future, zodiac signs, future predictions, astrological signs, you won't be single forever (because eventually the sun will explode & we'll all die)

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