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February Love-o-Scopes!!

20th Century Fox

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Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Yours is the most protective and caring of the signs, Cancer, so if anyone is about to shoot a bazooka at a puppy, you should courageously step in and recommend petting the puppy instead. Remember this month that love is blind, like a crayfish, and frequently gross, like a crayfish. Your Romance Tip of the Month is to leave romantic lipstick kisses all over your SO's phone screen, and then, as he is struggling to clean them off, shove him into a lake. This is called Being Spontaneous and guys definitely love it.

Topics: Life
Tags: valentine's day, flirting, dating, crushes, astrology, horoscopes, the future, zodiac signs, future predictions, astrological signs, you won't be single forever (because eventually the sun will explode & we'll all die)

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