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Modes of Magical Transport, Ranked from Worst to Best

STARZ/Black Sails


#7: "A rotten carcass of a butt"—from The Tempest, by William Shakespeare

Listen, I spend a lot of time on a butt (mine). It's not so bad. It's pretty squishy, and I am comfortable, on the butt (my butt (sitting)), eating pretzels and watching The Good Place. HOWEVER, I can say with complete certainty that nobody wants to be sailing around on a "rotten carcass of a butt" for any amount of time, let alone a decade-plus.  

Unfortunately for Prospero, the wizard from Shakespeare's The Tempest, that's just exactly what he got. His brother Antonio usurped the throne, and, 12 years before the play began, sent him packing on the butt. OKAY, guys, fine; "butt" is just Shakespearean for boat. Yadda yadda yadda, they get on the butt, they wind up on a deserted island, there's a storm, there's a monster in a tree, there's some goblins, and then Miranda gets married! Everything works out in the end. What did I tell you? Butts are okay.

Topics: Life
Tags: harry potter, star wars, lists, magic, dragons, game of thrones, rankings, potterverse, fictional worlds, wizarding world, fictional universes, dragons ftw

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About the Author
Taylor Noles

Taylor has very strong feelings about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Her first name is actually Delaney, and her writing has appeared on VICE, NPR, and elsewhere. You can follow her on twitter @delaney_nolan

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