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20 Questions You MUST Ask Your Crush Before Dating Them

Columbia Pictures/Marvel Entertainment

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History has shown us that incompatibility leads to terrible things, like crying and the French revolution and Nick Carroway sucking back martinis like this, an image that will surely haunt your dreams for the rest of your life.

If you don't want your relationship to end thusly, it's of the utmost importance that you and the person you're considering dating are at least 78% compatible (Cormac and Hermione were 15%, and we all remember how that turned out). 

"But how can I establish our compatibility before we've gotten all up in each other's facial space and smashed our mouths together?" you ask, like the complete amateur you are.

By asking them the 20 questions contained herein, THAT’S HOW. Simply invite your crush to share a burrito and politely (albeit very seductively) run down this list, OR scream these quandaries at them from across the cafeteria to see how they perform under pressure.

I'd say that there are no right answers, but there are absolutely right answers, and if your crush doesn’t know them, you should probs bust out this classic Lizzie Bennet burn (a less dramatic but equally effective option is to perform a lighthearted song tinged with unexpected sadness and then retreat backward up a staircase like a Von Trapp child).

Are you ready to take an up-close and potentially highly uncomfortable look inside your crush's brain? Then LET’S BEGIN. 

This slideshow was originally published in October 2016

Topics: Life
Tags: harry potter, dating, crushes, the hunger games, lord of the rings, jk rowling, john green, voldemort, the fault in our stars, rue, would you rather, captain america, donald trump, compatibility, dobby, tough questions, stucky, sam wilson, #4 is a deal breaker

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About the Author
Chelsea Dagger

Since 2010, Chelsea Dagger (known in real life as Chelsea Aaron) has been SparkLife's sweatiest editor. She's currently working on a how-to-kiss guide for teens, and when she's not conducting smooch-related research on her life-size Joseph Gordon-Levitt cardboard cutout, she's eating pancakes, stocking up on industrial-strength deodorant, and destroying everyone at Harry Potter trivia. (EXPECTO PATRONUM!)

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.