How to Ask Someone to Prom, According to Shakespeare
Asking someone to prom is really hard. You have to put your entire sense of self on the line and just kind of hope it gets a "Sure, why not?" in return. The actual dance ranges from fun to just okay (barring the part where everyone gets telekinetically murdered by the newly crowned prom queen, but whatever, it happens). It’s the asking bit that’s kind of a big deal.
Every year, the pressure’s on to ask people to prom in new and creative ways. But if you want to have some fun with it, try one of these Shakespearean lines that double as promposals:
1. "Wilt take thy chance with me?"
2. "Come with me, fool."
3. "I do beseech you, by all the battles wherein we have fought, by the blood we have shed together…"
4. "Give me your hand: this hand is moist, my lady."
5. "Fellow, wilt thou bestow thy time with me?"
6. "Huntsman, what say'st thou? wilt thou go along?"
7. "Well, let us go together."
8. [Offering money]
9. "Deny me this, and an eternal curse fall on you! Let me know."
10. "Therefore, sirrah—[stabbing him]—with a new wound in your thigh, come you along with me."
11. "Why, wilt thou tourney for the lady?"
12. "Thou shall be waking well I shed thy blood, if from this presence thou darest go with me."
13. "And I do love thee: therefore, go with me; I'll give thee fairies."
14. "Come, will you go with me?"
15. "If you will go, I will stuff your purses full of crowns; if you will not, tarry at home and be hanged."
16. "Here, Winchester, I offer thee my hand."
17. "Come, let us to the banquet."
18. "We will not now be troubled with reply: we offer fair; take it advisedly."
19. "And we, like friends, will straightway go together."
20. "Strong reasons make strong actions: let us go: if you say ay, the king will not say no."