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The 9 Stages of BLARGH Before a First Date

Jon Skindzier


It’s finally happening. Either through sheer luck, weeks of unrelenting stalking, or ACTUAL DARK MAGIC (sorry not sorry, Dumbledore), you’ve got yourself a first date. As the wise sages we are, we have been on a combined TWO first dates, and are therefore rife with knowledge about such things. Be warned, there is a whirlwind of emotional trauma headed your way. It will be a firestorm of feelings so tumultuous that it will make Harry’s fifth year at Hogwarts look like a minor brush with teenage hormones.

This slideshow was originally published in November 2015

Topics: Life, Advice
Tags: guides, awkward, dating, first dates, anxiety, how to, first date, panic, stomach butterflies, jgl, you're right on schedule for a freak out, how to go on a date, stages of a first date

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About the Author
Maddy Aaron

Maddy Aaron lives, writes, and eats a significant number of tacos in NYC. Seamus Finnigan once wrote her a personalized letter that included the words "MAN U. Rule!" When she's not doing the stuff on the InterWebs, Maddy spends way too much time at the movies, discusses the falling hot dog quality in the neighborhood with her roommate, and intimidates men with her Gilmore Girls and Harry Potter trivia knowledge.

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