Though we can't predict the future*, we can say with 100%** certainty that if you give one of these valentines to your crush, they will fall completely and irreversibly in love with you.*** Hey, have we ever been wrong before?**** We have not.*****
**It's actually closer to 8% certainty, but we rounded up.
***There is absolutely no evidence to support such a claim.
****Yes, all the time.