21 Signs You Never Got Over Goosebumps as a Kid
You guys. Goosebumps became a movie this year. *NOSTALGIA ALERT* And sure, we all "moved on" from fourth grade and have adult interests now (Prince Caspian is 34, and therefore superrrr adultish), but also: I WANT MY TINY FOURTH-GRADE DESK AND BOX OF POPSICLE CRAFT SUPPLIES BACK.
I'm excited about Goosebumps the movie and I'm not afraid to say it! If you’re digging up all your old paperbacks and poring over them for spoilers, you're right where I am. Here are 21 more signs you're a closet Goosebumps fan from wayyyy back.
- Whenever someone says, “Scary movies can't happen in real life,” you shudder a little. You’ve seen too much.
- Whenever someone says, “Real books are at least 350 pages,” you want to punch them a little.
- The Walking Dead frustrates you to no end. They’re called ghouls, people!
- You’re down to check out new theme parks. Especially if they’re not advertising anywhere. That just means they’re better!
- When people talk about "the master of horror," you immediately think of RL Stine, not Stephen King.
- Dusty attics both excite you and make you nervous.
- Your crushes always seem to be hiding something.
- You double and triple-check every mask you have to wear for Halloween or a school play. That thing better be able to come off easily.
- “What’s scarier, the desert or the mountains?” (You’re screaming “MOUNTAINS!” right now.)
- People make fun of you for hating pranks. But you know they’re a sign that someone is evil.
- When you’re babysitting, no one goes into a dark room by themselves.
- Swatting any bug feels weird. How do you know that’s really a bee?
- You actually ARE just friends with that opposite-gender friend of yours.
- Nothing made in science is going near your mouth. Or hands. Especially the hands.
- Any movie title with an exclamation point instantly interests you.
- You treat anyone who looks remotely witchy with your best manners.
- Pinching is the worst punishment ever.
- You own about 20 flashlights. Just in case.
- You fully expect every dead character to come back and take revenge on whoever has wronged them. This means that a fair amount of your friends are usually Whovians.
- Most of the books you own are paperbacks.
- NO VENTRILOQUIST DUMMIES ARE ALLOWED NEAR YOU.
Have you seen Goosebumps? SHOW YOURSELVES!