Welcome to TSwift's EPIC "Bad Blood" Vid, Starring Her Limitless Supply of Badass Friends & Catwoman Costumes
Last night at the Billboard Music Awards, T-Sweezy unleashed the flaming HD pixels of her "Bad Blood" music video right into our eyeballs—and Sparklers, the wall-smashing, high fashion, hotly-anticipated masterpiece was a bonfire of MOCKINGJAY PROPORTIONS.
Since we have upwards of 12 different Google alerts for TSweezey (because CONSTANT VIGILANCE, that's why), we already knew that A: "Bad Blood" is widely considered to be about Tay's rumored feud with Katy Perry, and B: it would be generously peppered with cameos from her gorgeous BBFs. As to point A, we can now safely say that if Katy is indeed Swifty's arch-nemesis, SHE IS GETTING ROYALLY KATNISS-ED RIGHT NOW—but as for B, even though we'd seen the plethora of character posters, we still weren't prepared for the sheer density of FAME in this thang. There are soon-to-be-legendary appearances by Lena Dunham, Ellie Goulding, Selena Gomez, Hayley Williams, Zendaya, Karlie Kloss, Gigi Hadid as, Taylor's cats' namesakes Olivia and Meredith (aka Mariska Hargitay and Ellen Pompeo), and MOAR—and all of them are somehow crammed neatly inside a FOUR-MINUTE TIME FRAME. According to our calculations, that is an average of one famous person per 12.63 seconds (for a reference point, One Direction's "Night Changes" music video averages a mere one famous person per sixty seconds). While you let that sink into your potato-skins, feast your eyes on THIS:
DO YOU FIND YOURSELF AWESTRUCK AND IN A SPEECHLESS DAZE?! US TOO. After the first scene (in which Tay makes up for being knocked out of a window while wearing a transparent corset by executing a superbly chic landing onto a vintage car), and the mortal combat montage featuring a slew of badass compadres (who have names like Trinity and assassin skillz that include wielding deadly weapons in a snowstorm while sporting shorts), and the last explosive seconds of the vid (which boast a combination of SKY-HIGH FIRE COLUMS and STILETTOS the likes of which the world has never before seen), we pretty much gave up hope on ever recovering our jaws from the floor.
The only things we take issue with are the clear car (is a transparent vehicle PRACTICAL for a person who's got Selena Gomez's team of lady-soldiers trying to murderball her?!) and the fact that we didn't get to witness Paper Girl Cara Delevingne throw nunchucks at a cardboard cut-out of Justin Bieber–but hey, there's always next time.
What are your thoughts on T-Sweezy's new video? Do you think Katy Perry is crying into her oatmeal right about now? Which Bad Blood character do you want to be? (YOU CAN TOTALLY JUST SAY "ALL OF THEM.")