Ah, the American high school cafeteria. It's an institution like no other (except maybe prison). It's a jungle, and you are the beast stalking your prey, which comes served to you just like the gazelle to the cheetah: on a molded plastic tray by a lady in a hairnet and gloves that might also be used for cleaning toilets.
If that doesn't whet your appetite, then we don't know what will... except maybe this quiz. Choose from four classic school cafeteria lunches, and see what your selection reveals IF YOU DARE eat the steak-umms that look like grey and desiccated meat paper but actually taste delicious.
I CHOOSE LUNCH A: Fish stix (sic), apple sauce, French fries, and carrot and celery sticks.
I CHOOSE LUNCH B: Personal pan pizza, corn chips (generic brand, obvs not Fritos), donut, chocolate pudding, and low-fat chocolate milk.
I CHOOSE LUNCH C: Salisbury "steak," mashed potatoes, and corn.
I CHOOSE LUNCH D: PB&J, apple, almonds, and carrot and celery sticks.