YOU BUTTS ARE THE LUCKIEST BUTTS IN THE WORLD, for this week, you shall recieve 2 ALL-CAPS style recaps, WHETHER YOU WANT THEM OR NOT. Why are you being forced to endure such an unprecedented barrage of sartorial shouting? Because I LOVE YOU, that's why. And also because the VMAs were on last night (hence this slideshow), and the Emmys air this evening (hence another slideshow tomorrow)! IT'S A PROVERBIAL DOWNPOUR OF SLIDESHOWS. You cannot escape it, so you might as well embrace it—starting with this unflinching look at the unmitigated disasters (as well as a few fabulous fashion moments) that unfolded on the red carpet last night. ONWARD, TO VICTORY/INEXPLICABLE LEATHER ENSEMBLES!!