SARTORIAL SALUTATIONS YET AGAIN, BUTTSKIS.
I'm here with a present you didn't want and never asked for: YET ANOTHER ALL-CAPS STYLE RANT, SHOUTED DIRECTLY INTO YOUR GRIMACING EYEBALLS. What brought on this exciting and terrifying event? Why, last night's Teen Choice Awards, of course! I wasn't there (my forehead was too large for the venue, alas), but judging from the photos, one could hardly turn her head without bumping smack-dab into the flawless, naked torso of a famous person. It seems that the half-shirt trend has swept through the celebrity population like an airborne disease, LEAVING NO ONE UNSCATHED (and no midriff un-bared). There were a few ensembles that didn't have belly button windows, but we'll get to those later; first, let's address this crop top extravaganza, via a method of communication that is as elegant as it is sophisticated: ALL-CAPS, Y'ALL.