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100 Questions You'll Have to Answer as a Grownup: START ANSWERING THEM NOW!

100 Questions You'll Have to Answer as a Grownup: START ANSWERING THEM NOW!

By Ashley Brooke Roberts

IM Creator/Jesse Clockwork

IN FOLKLORE, growing up is all rollercoaster rides and funnel cake 24/7 (which it is, to some degree), but there’s actually a lot of mundane decision-making that has to be done as a semi-dult. ON A DAILY BASIS. That's why we've prepared a list of 100 questions that will take the pain out of growing up, and put you on the path to easy breezy best-year-edness... STUDY UP!

  1. Antiperspirant, natural deodorant, or have no friends?
  2. City, town, or absolute mountaintop seclusion?
  3. Sunscreen 24/7 with hat and gloves or a sun-kissed buttery glow now/leathery, scarred body later?
  4. Savings account versus backpacking through Europe?
  5. Bangs or no bangs?
  6. Books, magazines, blogs, or just pictures from now on and forever?
  7. Save vacation days for actual vacations or for sporadically staying home when you just want some “me time.”
  8. Struggling rapper boyfriend or grocery bagger boyfriend at Whole Foods?
  9. Become an internationally traveling massage therapist or a kindergarten teacher?
  10. Talk loud in public spaces (coffee shops) or respect strangers' space?
  11. Hot air balloon over New York City or pay rent this month?
  12. Do extra work at your job to earn a promotion or learn more about the banjo?
  13. Live alone or live with ten Germans?
  14. Drop out and join a commune or drop in and work in finance?
  15. Shave your legs/armpits: yes or no?
  16. Date someone in finance or talk to a wall?
  17. Keep a journal or BE TWEETING ALWAYS?
  18. Pretend to suffer from an undiscovered disease or get a job?
  19. Pay rent or go to a music festival?
  20. Donate your old Barbie collection or burn down the house?
  21. Keep a best friend for life? (Seems like a big commitment.)
  22. Keep growing as person or fall into a bitter hole of negative thinking?
  23. Pay the phone bill or eat organic?
  24. 1, 2, or 4,359 French fries?
  25. Build friendships on straight-up gossip or mutual likes and interests?
  26. Complete, compete, or never start anything to begin with?
  27. Vacation or work?
  28. Spend time on true friendships or networking?
  29. Choose a job that gives more money/less fun or more fun/less money?
  30. Eat one whole pint of ice-cream seven nights a week or have a body you’re comfortable in?
  31. Rent, own, or crash on friends’s couches until you are 40?
  32. Fear, courage, or eating your feelings?
  33. Hairdresser or home-do?
  34. Cat, dog, or actually try and date someone once in your life?
  35. Think about others or just yourself all the time?
  36. Jam or jelly?
  37. Pursue your dreams or live in the safe corporate world of job security.
  38. Smoothies with almond milk every morning or Dunkin Donuts?
  39. Learn a new language or become a DJ?
  40. Act for love, money, or an air conditioner?
  41. Continue educating yourself through great literature or turn off your brain and only focus on a constant stream of celebrity gossip?
  42. Kale or collard greens?
  43. Which brings us to: Kanye or Kim? Who is the real star?
  44. Lean in, lean out, or lean over?
  45. Hit the same old tourists spots or go on your own adventure?
  46. Get really good at one thing or consistently switch focus every two years to a new “passion”?
  47. Children: yes, no, maybe so?
  48. Date a guy with a hemp necklace, buy leather shoes, or buy a parrot?
  49. Try veganism for vanity, humanity, or morality?
  50. Tweet all your family’s secrets or never surpass five thousand followers?
  51. Clean the bathroom or have cockroaches?
  52. Star Trek: the Next Generation, Voyager, or Deep Space Nine?
  53. Dessert for dinner or no dessert for dinner?
  54. Weekend in the country with friends or wait tables during the brunch rush?
  55. Let yourself continue to work in the food industry or get a real job?
  56. Sleep in and be late or wake up as soon as your alarm goes off?
  57. Buy that dress you love even though it’s dry-clean-only or pass because you realize what a pain that will be?
  58. One more cocktail or call it a night?
  59. Change your sheets once a week, once a month, or never?
  60. Start checking your weather app before leaving the house or ask the atmosphere to "surprise me!"
  61. Agree to take care of your friend’s nightmare dog for the weekend or make up a reason that you’re too busy?
  62. Naked bike ride or no naked bike ride?
  63. Be friends with your ex on Facebook or begin to live your life again?
  64. Horses or cows? Which one will you relate to?
  65. Carry a duct-tape wallet, loose bills, or credit cards only?
  66. Work on making your laugh more bearable to hear or just "be you?"
  67. Bad boy, good guy, or become a cheese connoisseur?
  68. Keep original name or change to Super Star Rock God Every Day 24/7 Forever And Ever?
  69. Roommates or bank loans?
  70. Make out with a random hottie or just go home already because it's tomorrow by now?
  71. Stay up and watch the sunrise or not be a tired zombie the next day?
  72. Try new foods or stick with what you know works?
  73. Self-help, new-age, or old-school traditionalist?
  74. Short shorts or worry about how old you feel inside?
  75. Push-ups every morning or a little upper arm jiggle when you wave?
  76. The power of a partner or the freedom of being a lone wolf?
  77. Trim your nails in the bathroom, on the couch, or disrespect everyone in your city and do it on the subway?
  78. Real World or Road Rules?
  79. Work on your memoir or haunt your local happy hour?
  80. Listen to the radio or an audio book during your commute?
  81. Drive to your bank or use this ATM now and deal with the fees?
  82. Shower daily, every other, or watch as friendships slowly dissolve?
  83. Run, walk, or never ever move again?
  84. Smoothies with fresh fruit and veggies or smoothies with ice cream and chocolate sauce?
  85. Wear sweatpants every day?
  86. Lifestyle blogs, gossip sites, or read a book?
  87. Therapy or savings account?
  88. Get really into conspiracy theories or try and stay up on local politics?
  89. Vote or sleep in?
  90. Talk to your parents every day, every weekend, or once a month?
  91. Go home and pretend that it’s a “vacation” or actually take a real vacation?
  92. Spend hundreds of dollars on face lotions or just let your genes do all the work?
  93. Massage, chiropractor, or gentle yoga?
  94. Boyfriend or body pillow?
  95. Admit your college loan debt in social situations or keep it a filthy dirty secret?
  96. Look at missed connections on Craigslist every day or join OK Cupid?
  97. Forgive your enemies from high school or hold a grudge?
  98. Keep on gossiping or learn to say kind words about others?
  99. Buy holiday presents in advance or wait until the week before, when everything is sold out?
  100. Accept your parents' new interests or tell them their new motorcycle obsession is creeping you out?

Have you lived in the real world as a semi-grown person? What did we miss? WHAT DEVIL'S BARGAINS HAVE YOU HAD TO MAKE?

Topics: Life, Advice
Tags: growing up, extra credit, questions, 100 lists, irl, best-year-of-your-life, life choices, fear; courage; or eating your own feelings?

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About the Author
Ashley Brooke Roberts

Ashley Brooke Roberts is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor living in Brooklyn. She's a performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and can usually be found smiling at random dogs on the street. Follow her on twitter at @AshleyBRoberts.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.