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The 20 Funniest Metaphors For Love In Song Lyrics (Okay, And Similes, Too)

The 20 Funniest Metaphors For Love In Song Lyrics (Okay, And Similes, Too)

By Abbey Clarke

Screenshot via YouTube / Happy Madison Productions

Love is a beautiful thing. Many poets have waxed and waned and whined poetic about matters of the heart… some more successfully than others. Here are the most giggle-worthy love metaphors in the pantheon of the ballad:

LOVE IS A FORCE-FIELD

I feel so close to you right now

It's a force field

Calvin Harris, “Feel So Close

Excuse our Star Trek knowledge, but don’t force fields tend to keep people in the brig, rather than make them give smooches?

LOVE IS LIKE AN EPOXY

I'm stuck on you, whoa oh whoa oh

Stuck like glue

Sugarland, "Stuck Like Glue"

Not all brands of glue are created equal! Also: Watch where you put your fingers.

LOVE IS LIKE AN IMPOSSIBLE PUZZLE

I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece.

Katy Perry, "Teenage Dream"

If we spent four days working on a puzzle of the Thames, only to find that there was a MISSING PIECE AT THE END, we would LOSE OUR HIGH-BOUNCES. Is that what being in love is like?

LOVE IS A PRECIOUS EARTH METAL

I've been a miner

For a heart of gold.

Neil Young, “Heart of Gold

Hard hats are the sexiest headgear.

LOVE IS SOMETHING TO BE ALLERGIC TO

Shot me out of the sky

You're my kryptonite

You keep making me weak

Yeah, frozen and can't breathe

One Direction, “One Thing

Kryptonite kills, folks! We get that love is powerful and can bring strong men—nay, Supermen, to their knees—but really? Our love is a radioactive rock?

LOVE IS A NOUN/JELLYFISH

This (This Thing)

called love(Called Love)

It cries (Like a baby)

In a cradle all night

It swings (Woo Woo)

It jives (Woo Woo)

It shakes all over like a jelly fish,

I kinda like it

Crazy little thing called love

Queen, “Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Just… jellyfish.

LOVE IS A NARRATIVE

Cause you were Romeo

I was a scarlet letter

And my daddy said stay away from Juliet.

Taylor Swift, “Love Story

If one tragic "love" story (real talk: Romeo and Juliet were like 14 and knew each other for all of a week) is romantic, then TWO tragic ‘love’ stories (HESTER PRYYYYYNE) must be super romantic.

LOVE IS VERY DURABLE/POSSIBLY TUNGSTEN

No muscle man could sever

My love for you is true and it will never

Amy Grant, “Baby, Baby

Everything’s better with muscle men!

LOVE IS FIRING NEURONS

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

When sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

Goo Goo Dolls, “Iris

Truthfully, we love this song. But sometimes when we get to the lines about tasting and breathing all we can think is “Om nom nom love is better than cupcakes and oxygen combined!”

LOVE IS DRIVE-TIME RADIO

My heart's a stereo

It beats for you so listen close

Travie McCoy, “My Heart's a Stereo

Because one minute you can't stop listening to a song, and the next you're ready to smash your radio with a hammer.

LOVE IS LIKE THE BRITISH COLONIZATION, OR MAYBE WAR (WE THINK)

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

I bless the rains down in Africa

Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

Toto, "Africa"

It's not immediately clear from these lyrics who is the continent, who is the rain, and who the men are. Also, we're not sure what the things are that Toto wanted to do (go on safari?).

LOVE IS A LAY-Z BOY

Love soft as an easy chair

Love fresh as the morning air

Barbra Streisand, "Evergreen (Love Theme From "A Star Is Born")"

Those two metaphors seem mutually exclusive. What's the last easy chair you sat in that you could describe as "fresh?"

LOVE IS A LOCOMOTIVE BUILT FOR AERONAUTICAL TRAVEL/THE AMERICAN DREAM

I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's in the moon

Eminem, "Space Bound"

CANCEL LAUNCH, MY JETS ARE LOW.

LOVE IS A LOVE SONG (BABY)

Love you like a love song baby

Selena Gomez, "Love You Like a Love Song"

Please resubmit or you will be awarded a fail grade for "love metaphors in song: 101."

LOVE IS LIKE A LYRIC IN A SONG

Like a lyric to my favorite song

You stick with me all day long

Tobymac, "Favorite Song"

Our reaction to a song stuck in our head? HULK SMASH.

LOVE IS AN OUTDATED, BODY-SHAMING CLICHE

I love you like a fat kid love cake

50 Cent, "21 Questions"

Do you know anything about personal metabolism?

LOVE IS A PIANO DROPPED FROM A FOURTH-STORY WINDOW

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window

Ani DiFranco, "Two Little Girls"

Love is expensive, needs to be tuned, and does not survive the fall.

LOVE IS A BANANA PEEL

I feel so bad and yet I'm feeling so well.

I slipped, I stumbled, I fell.

Elvis Presley, "I Slipped, I Stumbled, I Fell"

Love is a banana peel, 'cause it makes you fall. Puns are the food of love.

LOVE IS A TRUCK AND/OR WALL

Love is a truck, love is a wall.

It'll run you down or it's what you've gotta get over.

Connie Kaldor, "Love Is a Truck"

We advise you to a) learn how to drive stick and operate a double-clutch, or b) learn how to vault.

LOVE IS A GAME THAT YOU WERE LATE TO, PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WERE GETTING ICE CREAM

And if young love is just a game

Then I must have missed the kick off.

Blink-182, "Going Away To College"

Of course love is a game. But the real question here is: Is it football?

What is the best inadvertently funny love metaphor you can think of?!

Topics: Life
Tags: song lyrics, love songs, top 20, love is a wall love is a truck, great songs, is this is love we'll take like

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About the Author
Abbey Clarke

Abbey Clarke is a writer and editorial assistant living in Jersey City. She's a player on a D&D podcast called Knife Errant, wrote her senior thesis on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and is working on a novel about a semi-reformed demon who runs a library. You can follow her on Twitter at @abbeybookaholic.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.