The 20 Funniest Metaphors For Love In Song Lyrics (Okay, And Similes, Too)
Love is a beautiful thing. Many poets have waxed and waned and whined poetic about matters of the heart… some more successfully than others. Here are the most giggle-worthy love metaphors in the pantheon of the ballad:
LOVE IS A FORCE-FIELD
I feel so close to you right now
It's a force field
Calvin Harris, “Feel So Close”
Excuse our Star Trek knowledge, but don’t force fields tend to keep people in the brig, rather than make them give smooches?
LOVE IS LIKE AN EPOXY
I'm stuck on you, whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue
Sugarland, "Stuck Like Glue"
Not all brands of glue are created equal! Also: Watch where you put your fingers.
LOVE IS LIKE AN IMPOSSIBLE PUZZLE
I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece.
Katy Perry, "Teenage Dream"
If we spent four days working on a puzzle of the Thames, only to find that there was a MISSING PIECE AT THE END, we would LOSE OUR HIGH-BOUNCES. Is that what being in love is like?
LOVE IS A PRECIOUS EARTH METAL
I've been a miner
For a heart of gold.
Neil Young, “Heart of Gold”
Hard hats are the sexiest headgear.
LOVE IS SOMETHING TO BE ALLERGIC TO
Shot me out of the sky
You're my kryptonite
You keep making me weak
Yeah, frozen and can't breathe
One Direction, “One Thing”
Kryptonite kills, folks! We get that love is powerful and can bring strong men—nay, Supermen, to their knees—but really? Our love is a radioactive rock?
LOVE IS A NOUN/JELLYFISH
This (This Thing)
called love(Called Love)
It cries (Like a baby)
In a cradle all night
It swings (Woo Woo)
It jives (Woo Woo)
It shakes all over like a jelly fish,
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called love
Queen, “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”
LOVE IS A NARRATIVE
Cause you were Romeo
I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet.
Taylor Swift, “Love Story”
If one tragic "love" story (real talk: Romeo and Juliet were like 14 and knew each other for all of a week) is romantic, then TWO tragic ‘love’ stories (HESTER PRYYYYYNE) must be super romantic.
LOVE IS VERY DURABLE/POSSIBLY TUNGSTEN
No muscle man could sever
My love for you is true and it will never
Amy Grant, “Baby, Baby”
Everything’s better with muscle men!
LOVE IS FIRING NEURONS
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
Goo Goo Dolls, “Iris”
Truthfully, we love this song. But sometimes when we get to the lines about tasting and breathing all we can think is “Om nom nom love is better than cupcakes and oxygen combined!”
LOVE IS DRIVE-TIME RADIO
My heart's a stereo
It beats for you so listen close
Travie McCoy, “My Heart's a Stereo”
Because one minute you can't stop listening to a song, and the next you're ready to smash your radio with a hammer.
LOVE IS LIKE THE BRITISH COLONIZATION, OR MAYBE WAR (WE THINK)
It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had
It's not immediately clear from these lyrics who is the continent, who is the rain, and who the men are. Also, we're not sure what the things are that Toto wanted to do (go on safari?).
LOVE IS A LAY-Z BOY
Love soft as an easy chair
Love fresh as the morning air
Barbra Streisand, "Evergreen (Love Theme From "A Star Is Born")"
Those two metaphors seem mutually exclusive. What's the last easy chair you sat in that you could describe as "fresh?"
LOVE IS A LOCOMOTIVE BUILT FOR AERONAUTICAL TRAVEL/THE AMERICAN DREAM
I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's in the moon
Eminem, "Space Bound"
CANCEL LAUNCH, MY JETS ARE LOW.
LOVE IS A LOVE SONG (BABY)
Love you like a love song baby
Selena Gomez, "Love You Like a Love Song"
Please resubmit or you will be awarded a fail grade for "love metaphors in song: 101."
LOVE IS LIKE A LYRIC IN A SONG
Like a lyric to my favorite song
You stick with me all day long
Tobymac, "Favorite Song"
Our reaction to a song stuck in our head? HULK SMASH.
LOVE IS AN OUTDATED, BODY-SHAMING CLICHE
I love you like a fat kid love cake
50 Cent, "21 Questions"
Do you know anything about personal metabolism?
LOVE IS A PIANO DROPPED FROM A FOURTH-STORY WINDOW
Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window
Ani DiFranco, "Two Little Girls"
Love is expensive, needs to be tuned, and does not survive the fall.
LOVE IS A BANANA PEEL
I feel so bad and yet I'm feeling so well.
I slipped, I stumbled, I fell.
Elvis Presley, "I Slipped, I Stumbled, I Fell"
Love is a banana peel, 'cause it makes you fall. Puns are the food of love.
LOVE IS A TRUCK AND/OR WALL
Love is a truck, love is a wall.
It'll run you down or it's what you've gotta get over.
Connie Kaldor, "Love Is a Truck"
We advise you to a) learn how to drive stick and operate a double-clutch, or b) learn how to vault.
LOVE IS A GAME THAT YOU WERE LATE TO, PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WERE GETTING ICE CREAM
And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off.
Blink-182, "Going Away To College"
Of course love is a game. But the real question here is: Is it football?
What is the best inadvertently funny love metaphor you can think of?!