Oldest Cat Dies, Passes Torch to Another Old Cat
Sad news, Sparklers: The world's oldest cat, Poppy, died today at the ripe old age of 24. What's that in human years, you ask? One hundred and twelve!!! What's that in squirrel years, you ask? Oh—you didn't ask that, did you.*
To put Poppy's longevity in context, she was on this Earth the first time Hammer pants swept the nation; just a hair after the Berlin Wall fell. And after 24 glorious years, Poppy still looked not a day over 82. What was her secret? Either the vivacious feline made it to the Fountain of Youth (*cue Pirates of the Caribbean theme song*) or there was something special in her brand of catnip. Whatever force it was that kept her on earth for so long, we truly hope that Kitty Heaven is filled with lots of juicy mice, patches of sunshine to bask in, and a palace filled with scratching posts. (And oh hey, if it has a keyboard, that would be fine too.)
At 112 human years, we can only assume just how much sage advice Poppy had to offer the world. But alas, Google cannot translate meows, which means we are left to our own imaginations. As a conspicuous cat lady myself, I would go with: "A bowl of milk a day keeps the doctor away," or "The early cat can scratch its butt safe in the knowledge that no one is up to see it."
What advice do you think the oldest cat on earth would have given?
*It's 16. Don't lie, I know you were itching to find out.