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June 2014 Horoscopes!

By Jon_Skindzier Jun 3, 2014

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Aries (March 21 – April 19)

They say that God never closes a door without opening a window, Aries, but explaining this to your dog when locking him in the car is not an effective consolation. This would be a good month to check in on some old friends, because because many of them need help opening jars or chasing kids off their lawns. Your little-known fact is that celery does not actually contain negative calories, only negative deliciousness. Your lucky collective noun is "a scurry of squirrels."

Topics: Life
Tags: horoscopes, slideshows, the future, fate, wanna trade destinies?

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