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What Your Avatars Say About You, Too!

What Your Avatars Say About You, Too!

By Janet Manley

Without further ado, the next installation of me using my third crow's eye to see into your souls (or internet browsers). Apologies to those I haven't pegged yet, but I need my seer powers to remain strong!

TetrisAbyss: You could never be un-good-looking if you tried. You accidentally win hearts all the time (every time you walk into a light pole). You will one day go to space and hearts will combust right along with the rocket fuel.

radha24-totlcrzynerdwholuvsbks: You eat all your Halloween candy on Halloween. Your secret luxury is wearing two pairs of socks at once for added comfort. Or two pairs of underpants for that matter. Your motto is YOLOOOOO!!!!!!

RainbowVeins135: You know that while pizza is good, mini pizza is good. And you know that while pepperoni on a mini pizza is good, mini pepperoni (pepperonini?) is even better! You have committed to never losing the double-jointed bendiness of childhood, and suspend yourself between two stacks of bricks in the splits every night for ten minutes. You don't sleep under a duvet, you just tie a giant bandanna around you and your bed before nodding off.

timey_wimey_stuff: In a past life, you were one of those females who went undercover as pirates (only they didn't call it "undercover" back then). In the current life, you are Ryan Gosling grafted onto a famous cowgirl. You know that to ride free across the plains of America, you don't need a horse; you just need a wild spirit (and chaps). You've got mad ankle gap and cheekbones that could slice through iron ore. You are the spirit of the Cimarron.

DoctorClaraHolmes: You have a doctorate in philosophy of Cumberbatch and are a feels lightning rod. Whenever someone ships Clara and Sherlock, you feel the strike; when rain patters on a window, it rains on your insides for all the unrequited shippers. You have mad eyebrow game.

gnomie4: In between emptying the dishwasher and walking the dog, you carry on a serious covert life at home (hosting crushes, perforning internet headswaps, living a wild online life through an avatar). When you finish school, you plan to do an around-the-world dumpling tour and write a tell-all book called "Under My Skin."

rulynn: You spend 80% of class time day dreaming about the action movie you have been writing in your head, starring you, and theoretically perfecting the tuck-and-roll from a moving car. When called on, you are miraculously able to answer a complicated algebra question correctly.

not_nobody: Sometimes, things in the world are so cute and adorable that you don't know whether to hug them, photograph them, or wrap them up in a light filo pastry, toast them, and eat them. You have the most novelty socks of anyone!

Little-ol-me: No one makes an entrance like you, whether you're unfurling your own carpet from the top of a staircase, pulling monkeys from beneath your hoop skirt, or pretending to faint. Your secret weapon is peach jam.

soccer2rules<333: When you don't look like getting your way with someone, you are able to wave a curtain of hair over their eyes and hypnotize them into inanimate rocks. The magic words, "Sounds like the Pop Tarts just popped!" bring them back to consciousness. You don't do happy dances so much as happy sprints.

HaleyNeedsFood: Your thinking face and crush face are the same, leading to some wild mixups (esp. between you and the chem teacher, and you and Mr. Drumsticks in the marching band). Your stunning eyebrows complicate the matter.

SparkyVixen: When you dream, your feet twitch. To dry your hair, you simply hold the hairdryer in front of your face, dial it up to High, and start running. You smell like thyme.

mathletechick: You're constantly getting into trouble for "not showing your workings" but HOW DO YOU SHOW TINY COGS JUST SPINNING BY THEMSELVES IN YOUR BRAIN? When you ride a rollercoaster, you like to yell out the degree of turn you just took (45!!!) and are thrilled in part by the speed, but mostly by the fine view of the tesselating pavement below. You secretly want to tesselate the person in the front row of class.

OswinOswald98: You are fun in a group but KNOCK ALL THE SOCKS OFF when people are alone with you. Dumb, distracted doctors are always marveling at your mouth-brain (aka the things you say) when you let the guard down and let rambles happen.

fortheloveofMerlin: You experience deja vu often, but it's usually just about mundane thing like peeling oranges and wearing velvet pants (did I just wear these?). Cats wink at you, and birds make sure to poop on every car but yours. You can tell when it's going to rain by how sneezy you feel.

amustachioedabnaut: Boy do you HATE jeans shopping! They sell boot cut, slim leg, flare, but do they sell right-angle-creased-knee jeans? NOOO. Your shadow is sharper than your bite, and you're a bit of a softy deep down.

Wafflelove: You are here to save us all from losing faith in true love, and to teach boys how to properly play with hair. When dresses suddenly go out of style, you will be there with your nuclear bunker full of fit and flare, empire waists, and maxis to SAVE US ALLL!

Flopsydabunny: Whether it's a 100 meter sprint or a 3 kilometer cross-country race, you like to cross the finish line by stumbling forward onto your knees, dramatically. The same goes for running bases or lining up at the deli. Your dream is to have a marshmallow couch when you're old/rich enough.

Did I get you right?!!!

Topics: Life
Tags: sparklers, personalities, what your ____ says about you, fortune telling, avatars, crystal ball, i went to school for about 13 years for this

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About the Author
Janet Manley

Janet's desk was moved into the hall for the duration of coursework on Roman numerals in grade four, and she cannot tell one Rocky from another to this day. Her spirit animal is a wombat, and she has not written a novel. Dauntless, Gryffindor, Mockingjay. She tweets @janetmanley

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.