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SPARKLEBUTTS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL: YOU Could Be the Next SPARKLIFE INTERN!

SPARKLEBUTTS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL: YOU Could Be the Next SPARKLIFE INTERN!

By Chelsea Dagger

PAY CLOSE ATTENTION, BUTTS, for your whole life's happiness rests on how you answer the following three questions:

1. Do you live in (or within commuting distance to) New York City?

2. Are you a smart, social media-savvy, super-organized college student (or post-grad) who is borderline obsessed with SparkLife?

3. Have you always dreamt of spending your days catering to the Sparkitors' every wit and whim? (WE DEMAND ICE CREAM SUNDAES AND WE DEMAND THEM MICROWAVED.)

If you responded to the above by doing a victory hip-thrust, high-fiving your life-size Harry Potter cardboard cutout, and shouting the word "YES" at ear-splitting volume, then YOU MIGHT JUST BE OUR NEXT INTERN.

For the last 3 years, we've had the privilege and the pleasure of working with the most magnificent intern ever to intern, Jenny Grudziecki. Unfortunately, she and our latest, greatest intern Abbey Clarke will be leaving in May, and so we have set about the impossible task of trying to fill their genius shoes. AND THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN.

As our intern, you'd be in charge of:

-Putting together weekly "blog stats" using Google Analytics

-Responding to customer service emails
-Writing the Friday Awards (and other posts too, if it strikes your fancy!)
-Creating slideshows and uploading pix for the site
-Handling social media (Facebook and Twitter) for The MindHut
Now, DON'T PANIC if you aren't entirely sure what some of the above means (I myself didn't know what Google Analytics was until about 38 minutes ago). You don't have to have 12 years of professional executive assistant-ing under your belt to master this internship; you just need to be excited, driven, and willing to learn! If you think you've got what it takes (brilliance, work ethic, an unsurpassed ability to withstand torrents of GRATUITOUS ALL-CAPS) to intern at SparkLife, then we want to hear from you! BEFORE MAY 5, please email us a resume with previous/relevant experience, and include an explanation of why you're the perfect person for this position. (Just for posterity's sake, HERE IS OUR EMAIL ADDRESS ONE MORE TIME. AND HERE IT IS THRICE.)

Oh, and one more thing: this internship is PAID. In ACTUAL MONIES. (I lobbied for the salary to consist of Cheez-its and autographed copies of my headshot, but unfortunately you shall be receiving dolla-dolla billz instead. LAME.)

We can't wait to hear from all you awesome potential interns out there! And in the meantime: JENNY AND ABBEY, I'M GONNA NEED SOME LUKEWARM ICE CREAM, STAT.

ISN'T THIS EXCITING AND/OR TERRIFYING?! Are you going to apply to be our next intern? Do you have any questions? Do you realize that if you do become our next intern, I shall bestow upon you an OFFICIAL NICKNAME?? (Jenny's is "Jenpen" and Abbey's is "Shawshank." It's a long story.) GET CRACKIN' ON THOSE APPLICATIONS, BUTTS, THE DEADLINE IS MAY 5!

Topics: Life
Tags: jobs, sparklife, internships, job applications, your dream job awaits

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About the Author
Chelsea Dagger

Since 2010, Chelsea Dagger (known in real life as Chelsea Aaron) has been SparkLife's sweatiest editor. She's currently working on a how-to-kiss guide for teens, and when she's not conducting smooch-related research on her life-size Joseph Gordon-Levitt cardboard cutout, she's eating pancakes, stocking up on industrial-strength deodorant, and destroying everyone at Harry Potter trivia. (EXPECTO PATRONUM!)

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.