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10 Kid Jokes You Can STILL USE TODAY!

10 Kid Jokes You Can STILL USE TODAY!

EVERYONE is a comedian these days. Don't think you know any jokes? Sure you do! Dust off some of your old sets from kindergarten and get them OUT ON STAGE already, then watch your star rise.

1. Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

Use this gem when you're trying to get out of jury duty. The judge will think you're not mentally fit to serve.

2. How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut.

Use this when if your barber messes up your haircut and you don't want to pay.

3. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!

Use this when an unattractive person asks you out and you don't want to hurt their feelings. They'll think you're the gross one.

4. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

Use this one to embarrass your mom right out of the Homecoming Dance she's chaperoning.

5. What did the mushroom say to the fungus? You're a fungi.

Use this if you don't know the answer in biology class and want to be sent directly to the nurse.

6. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane? MEEEEEE!!!

Use this when meeting with Washington Redskins owner Dan Synder, because he obviously doesn't care about Native Americans' feelings. Plus, he might give you a t-shirt.

7. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court.

If you ever have to testify in court, use this and then have the  stenographer read it back. Twice the laughs!!

8. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

Use this if you don't have any candy for Halloween. Trick or treaters will walk right by your house.

9. Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell station!

Use this at your crummy gas station job so your boss will have to fire you.

10. What did the fish say when it swam into the brick wall? Dam!

Use this if you're an old-timey prospector warning people that the dam is out! (Just make sure you say this joke first, because people get sad upon hearing they are going to drown).

Are you still peddling ten-year-old material?

Topics: Life, Advice
Tags: comedy, growing up, lists, hilarious, punch lines, kill them with laughter, dies

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Jason Saenz

Jason Saenz is a writer in New York City. Follow him on Twitter @JasonSaenz!

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