A Guide to Asking Someone to Prom With the KFC Chicken Corsage
For a finger lickin' good promposal, consider a $20 KFC fried chicken drumstick corsage (comes with $5 KFC gift card for an all-expenses paid honeymoon to the KFC of your choice). As you can see from the above picture, a chicken drumstick corsage, surrounded tastefully with baby's breath (containing seven secret spices), will highlight your date's slender wrist and delicate finger-bone structure.
If you are thinking that a fried promposal is the right way to woo your lady, we've got the lowdown on how to execute your tasty plan.
1. ALL PROM-GOING LADIES ARE NOT THE SAME. Decide if your lady is Original Recipe, Extra Crispy, or Kentucky Grilled Chicken. Think about what makes her personality sing: is she an old-fashioned romantic who wants the guy to do the asking? Consider Original Recipe. Is she edgy and adventurous? Then we suggest a surprise Extra Crispy promposal after she descends a zipline. Is she sporty and achievement-oriented? Then go for the Kentucky Grilled Chicken as you round the back 400 on the track together. She'll appreciate this attention to detail.
2. DON'T TAKE TOO LONG TO PROMPOSE. Ideally, you are going to retrieve your corsage (crispysage?) within 10 minutes of the promposal, or you're going to have a soggy drumstick (ladeez hate that) and wilted baby's breath. Consider promposing inside a KFC (surpriseeeee!), or outside in the parking lot (romantic!). If you're feeling ambitious, you can use an insulated carrybag to transport the goods in a purpose-built transportation vessel (try a family-sized bucket) to a non-KFC, non-parking lot location.
3. SAY THE MAGIC WORDS. This is your moment to shine with a personalized promposal speech to make her feel special...
"It would be too good if you'd go to prom with me."
"Love me Extra Crispy Tenders, love me true."
"Will go Go Cups to prom with me?"
"I have a Doublicious crush on you."
"My heart is a pile of Mashed Potatoes around you."
"Going to prom with you would be gravy."
"I can be boneless if you like."
4. CHILL OUT WHILE SHE DEVOURS HER CORSAGE. Just be there for her in this emotional eating moment. Be there with Buffalo Ranch dressing, maybe.
5. DOCUMENT THE PROMPOSAL ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
— Alyssa (@AlyssaEmelia) April 10, 2014
What do you think of the chicken corsages? Have you seen any good promposals?