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Why You Should Kiss Them at the End of the Night

Why You Should Kiss Them at the End of the Night

By Anthony DeVito

Perhaps a peck? Maybe a mouthful? The night is going well, but should you kiss them at the end of it. Of course you should! Here's why, from the mouth of a guy with a mouth!

Reason #1: It's now or never

This is the scene. The date is going great, and those butterflies keep fluttering in your stomach—you realize “I’m in love with the chap sitting across from me.” You aren't 100% sure about this, but you have a good feeling. Here's the thing: He could get hit by a bus on his way home from the date. It happens all the time to Sandra Bullock's boyfriends. So, not kissing the love of your life could be something you regret, and you don’t want to live a life of regret, locked in a tower making shoes! I mean, technically, if he dies you could kiss the casket. But, it’s not the same. It’s much colder and smells different. Plus, strange.

Reason #2: Because that kiss is the elephant in the room

It’s better to get the kiss out of the way. Then, for the rest of the date, you can actually be yourself. Otherwise, the whole entire time, you’ll be in your head. Instead of getting to know him, you’ll be worried about kissing him. If you do it first, then you can move on to other things, like working as a team to find that missing plane.

Reason #3: It could freshen your breath

Do it for health reasons. He may have a virus that your body hasn’t yet encountered and don't have an immunity to. But, if you kiss him and come down with his sickness, your body will learn how to fight the infection. I say kiss everyone and you’ll never have to get Obamacare.

Reason #4: If you're in the batting cages, you might as well swing

Even if the date is going terrible, kiss him as a means to get better at kissing. Treat his mouth like an open mic. That way, when you do meet the man of your dreams, you’re amazing at kissing and your crowd work is above par! Just make sure to tell him you’re only kissing him as an open mic situation. Be very clear that this is to get better at kissing and there’s no future in it becoming a relationship. The only reason you’re doing it is to BE READY FOR SOMEONE BETTER. Make him repeat the last line with you, so there is no confusion.

Reason #5: Because YOLO!!!

Live for adventure. Think of your mouth as a person. As a person, don’t you want to be well traveled? Not kissing someone at the end of the night is like passing up a trip to go to France. Especially, if you’re on a date with someone French.

Reason #6: Think of it as cross-training

Do it to exercise those muscles. Over time, unused muscles can develop atrophy and fall off, I think. So, give the muscles inside your mouth a work out. Also, if your mouth muscles are getting the proper amount of exercise it will help your daily life. You’ll never have a problem again when it comes time to eat a big sandwich or “opening wide” during a cleaning at the dentist.

What other reasons do we need to give kissers on the fence to pucker up?

Topics: Life, Advice
Tags: kissing, dating, kisses, yolo, do it, practice makes perfect, why not, seize his day

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About the Author
Anthony DeVito

Anthony DeVito is a NYC based comic. Originally from New Jersey, he was featured as one of the "New Faces" at the 2012 Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, recently taped a Gotham Comedy Live on AXS TV, performed at the 2013 Bridgetown Comedy Festival and 2013 SF Sketchfest, and is also the former host of "Say What?!" on the NOC TV. You can follow him on Twitter @anthonydevito_

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