Ways to Be a Subtle Prom Rebel
There is prom, and there is the anti-prom, but what is there for your garden variety nonconformist? SUBTLE PROM REBELLION, THAT'S WHAT! Try these covert measures of protest against the Man (the prom man, whatever):
- Take pictures of everyone and store them in a folder called "For your grandchildren."
- Constantly request that the DJ put on NPR.
- Bring up some depressing world problem whenever you see anyone enjoying themselves.
- Dress like a 1920s police officer and confiscate any alcohol you see for “violation of the Volstead Act”
- Tell everyone to save the last dance for you then leave.
- At regular intervals, shout ”Our lives will never get better than this!”
- Give your date a corsage/boutonnière that is in the shape of a rebel alliance badge. Continue on to prom alone.
- Bring the judges for “So You Think You Can Dance” and have them stare at the dance floor until everyone is too afraid to step on it.
- Wear your outfit backwards and tell people it’s performance art. Hire several silent 20-somethings in black turtlenecks to look at them judgmentally if they don’t agree with you.
- Pick a song to declare as your “entrance music” then suplex somebody through a table when it plays.
- Make hand motions to signal a sleeper cell in the group photos.
- Freak dance to slow songs, slow dance to freaky songs, and scream like a dying animal during silent periods.
- Constantly ask people for help with your math homework.
- Dress like a limo driver while stumbling and slurring your words to make parents nervous.
- Rent the adjoining ballroom and tell people the real party is in there. Host a Magic the Gathering tournament in it.
- Bring DNA experts to question the claim to the throne of the prom king and queen. Bring swords to assert your own claim.
- Bring several attorneys with you into the limo and talk to them about whether or not Greg from accounting will testify.
How have you set yourself apart from the prom industrial complex?