Beauty Tips from the Winter Soldier Himself
Excited for Captain America: The Winter Soldier? Wondering how to spruce yourself up for spring? Looking for ways to wreak havoc?
When considering an everyday look for hunting down your former best fr—I mean for utterly destroying the helicarr—I mean getting into the country and bypassing Homeland Security, you want to look fabulous while retaining that air of imminent danger. Here are a few daytime looks that definitely do not say, "Oh man, someone help me."
Frame the eyes
Eyes are the windows to the soul that wants to grind Cap's bones into a patriotic sugar scrub. What? Oh right, eyes. Start with a jumbo black eyeshadow pencil. Draw a thick line across the top of the lid, then continue onto the lower lid since nothing is under your control anymore. Next, go back and add an additional layer. At this point, stare at your own reflection and think back on your old life, when pulling a dweeby kid out of alley fights was your biggest problem. When you've summoned enough tears, use them to streak the eyeshadow dramatically across your face.
Use flyaways to your advantage
Take your frizz-control spray and heave it out the window of your plummeting helicarrier. Or house, whatever. Point is, don't tame your hair. Let it flow free, unlike the emotion you hold tightly in check at all times. Next, climb onto the deck of your large military aircraft of choice and let the 150 mph breeze ruffle your luxurious locks into a windswept tangle of keratin. When you come back inside, the natural razzle-dazzle of your flyaway tresses will make you the star of the next hostage situation.
Accessorize with icons
Speaking of stars, let your enemies know they're on your mind by decorating yourself in their iconic symbols. For an everyday look, we prefer a gigantic red star on my bare armored shoulder in hopes that Cap will freaking notice us and get the point already. But for something more subtle, like a job interview, dip an eyeliner brush into the blood of your enemies and trace your chosen symbol onto your cheek.
Find a good backdrop for your selfie
Try an exploding aircraft carrier or the blaze of police-state gunfire to immortalize your look (up the contrast in Instagram if necessary). Remember to use #beautiful #hardlyanymakeup #sobaditsgood
Top off this look with a breathing apparatus that looks like it does more harm than good (a scarf will work in a pinch), and you're all set!
What are your everyday looks for inspiring total chaos?