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What Goes Through Your Head When You Find Out It's Not a Snow Day

What Goes Through Your Head When You Find Out It's Not a Snow Day

By Anthony DeVito

Magazines! Television! Sledding! Finding out it's a snow day is one of life's true, great joys. But, finding out the opposite is one of life's true, great letdowns. Here's an inside look of what goes through a person's head when they find out it's not a snow day! (Based on Shel Silverstein's poem "Sick.")

The forecast called for snow

yet, there is no word on the news

nothing on the ground

so, I'm singing the blues because

school is the place I probably must go

I didn't plan for this

Mother Nature, I shake my fist

feeling like an idiot

it's a pity, but

I put so much in my Netflix queue

seeing visions of my recently watched

a blizzard that never came

and now a plan is botched

what an afternoon

pizza, chips and soda

not an inch, not even an iota

I thought school was supposed

to be closed

it's nor fair, I'll call City Hall

contact the mayor, write a few presidents

tell them the residents

of this township

are bound to slip

these are dangerous conditions

we're talking full on collisions

a bruised tailbone

so, I stare at the phone

hopefully it rings

a voice on the other end

"no school today"

and we all live like kings

grapes, servants, armies of men

bound by glory

loyal until the bitter end

they know nothing of fear or loss

all answering to me, their one true boss

the yellow king of carcosa

my head of snakes and my body a lion

guided by nightfall and the star orion

we storm the gates

swords drawn

victory awaits

far gone

in a distant dimension

an empire crumbles

a regime tumbles

over the mountains

and through the rivers

the thousands shiver

to know me is to know fear

what's that I hear?

it's the phone

school is not closed

I'd better put on my clothes.

Have you been cheated by the weather channel recently?!

Topics: Life
Tags: school, winter, snow days, poems, fails, shel silverstein, the weather, shakes fist at sky

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About the Author
Anthony DeVito

Anthony DeVito is a NYC based comic. Originally from New Jersey, he was featured as one of the "New Faces" at the 2012 Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, recently taped a Gotham Comedy Live on AXS TV, performed at the 2013 Bridgetown Comedy Festival and 2013 SF Sketchfest, and is also the former host of "Say What?!" on the NOC TV. You can follow him on Twitter @anthonydevito_

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.