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10 Ways to Prepare for Saturday's Viking Apocalypse

10 Ways to Prepare for Saturday's Viking Apocalypse

In case you weren’t aware, the world is ending on Saturday. The Gjallerhorn was sounded across the rooftops of York on the 15th day of last November, beginning the 100-day countdown till Ragnorak, the apocalypse of Norse mythology. We think we all know what this means. Friday's laundry night has been cancelled in favor of Viking revelry!

What's that, you say? You don’t know how to party like a Viking stereotype, or even prepare for the end of the world as Nordics know it? Fear not! We’ve got the tips you need!

  1. Watch this countdown clock. Invite friends over, pop some popcorn, and drink Coke out of the skulls of your enemies, in fine barbarian style!
  2. Make buddies with your friendly neighborhood Vikings. Tall blond Nordic men will rejoice in the pleasure of your company! We call dibs on all the ones named Bjorn.
  3. Get your butt over to York, Britain to celebrate in the Jorvik festival, where visitors are equipped "with the tools to survive the apocalypse, from hunting for the mightiest and strongest warriors to training children in combat skills."
  4. If you can’t make it out to England (C’MON, HOW HARD COULD IT BE?), participate via the Twitter hashtag #ragnarok2014.
  5. Get some rocking horns to wear on your beanie hat. So hipster!
  6. Die gloriously in battle with your sister over the last of the Reeses Peanut Butter Cups that you may go to Valhalla and feast on Reeses Peanut Butter Cups for forever and a day.
  7. Dedicate yourself to becomig Chris Hemsworth’s bodyguard, as Thor is fated to die after defeating the serpent Jörmungandr. Please, cruel world, don’t take Thor’s beautiful arms from us!
  8. Scratch that, go be with Tom Hiddleston. No, Chris. Gah! Decisions are so hard!
  9. The world is supposed to split in twain and fall into the sea, so be sure to swing by your local YMCA for swimming and dolphin language lessons.
  10. Enter the reality TV show competition Who Wants To Be A Survivor of Ragnorak? to see if you can win one of two coveted spots in Hoddmímis holt, the secret wooded location where the only human survivors of the Vikingpocalypse are foretold to hide in!

What are YOU going to do for Ragnorak?

Topics: Life, Advice
Tags: funny things, vikings, the end of the world, thor, chris hemsworth, tom hiddleston, norse mythology

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About the Author
Abbey Clarke

Abbey Clarke is a writer and editorial assistant living in Jersey City. She's a player on a D&D podcast called Knife Errant, wrote her senior thesis on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and is working on a novel about a semi-reformed demon who runs a library. You can follow her on Twitter at @abbeybookaholic.

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