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Valentine's Day Pickup Lines

Valentine's Day Pickup Lines

By Sean McCarthy

SPARKLERS: IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO FIND A HAND TO HOLD ON FRIDAY! Ease your way into someone's romantic inner life with one of these smooth pickups:

Hey, let’s be each other’s sixth choice.

Are you that model airplane I tried to build when I was ten? Because I want you stuck to my lips.

Are you a royal flush, because I wanna hold you.

My mom’s car has heated seats.

Are you the conflict in Syria? Because I can’t stop thinking about you. And I wanna get Obama involved.

You’re as sweet as Valentine’s Day candy, so I wanna pick you up at sale price.

Do you torrent TV shows and music too? Or do you only steal my heart?

Let’s make like my Paladin in Dungeons and Dragons and roll the dice.

Is your name Algernon? Cause I wanna bring you flowers.

Wanna split a $5 footlong?

Girl you’re like what really happened at Roswell in 1947. I wish I knew more about you.

Four hundred years ago you would have caused a speculative bubble in the Netherlands, because you’re prettier than any tulip.

Are you my cell phone provider? Because I wish I could quit you.

Go out with me or I’ll yell House of Cards spoilers at you.

Our relationship will be like how we treat the "I agree" button on the iTunes terms of service agreement. We’ll just click.

I've got the candlelight and the Barry White music, why don’t you call Dominos and order the pizza?

I just want to gaze into your eyes and shout “haha, I win!” when you blink first.

I’ll bet you've never been with somebody who had an HBOGo account.

My power got shut off can I sleep on your floor for a couple weeks?

Will you be my heart? I’m an octopus so I hope it’s cool if I have two other hearts.

Try these out and report back!

Topics: Life, Valentine's Day
Tags: valentine's day, dating, lists, funny, pickup lines, not too late

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