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31 Thoughts and Feelings You Will Experience on Valentine's Day

31 Thoughts and Feelings You Will Experience on Valentine's Day

By Ashley Brooke Roberts

Ah Valentine's Day. A special time in every young persons life where they're flooded with feelings and emotions. Sometimes it seems that our brain has gone haywire and is just firing off random, love-inspired thoughts. We thought the best way to prepare would be to compile a list of possible internal distractions you will experience on the BIG DAY. You know, so you will be prepared for whatever random emotion floats your way.  So, in no particular order, here are the top 31 feelings and thoughts you will have on Valentine's:

  1. Excitement! Who knows what will happen? ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
  2. Hunger. At some point during the day, you’re gonna get hungry.
  3. Regret. You should have said this to that person, or done this for the other guy, or maybe not eaten so many heart shaped cookies?
  4. Boredom. The day is long, and your geometry teacher is covering the transitive property of equality, and didn’t we already learn that in Algebra last year?? What was that? It was taught in Honors Algebra? Why am I in this regular math class?? Oh how the mighty have fallen.
  5. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY JUST GOT BACK TOGETHER? DOESN’T HE KNOW WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER?
  6. Over it. You’re just so past all this now. Don’t people know it’s just a made-up capitalist scheme? I mean, come on people! Think for yourselves. Don’t be sheep!
  7. Baaah bah but I love all the candy and pink glitter! Maybe I’m a sheep.
  8. TOO MUCH PRESSURE! EVERYONE IS PUTTING TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON THIS DAY!
  9. Honestly, I forgot it was even February.
  10. If I could date anyone in the world it would be Fred or George Weasley. They’re funny, outgoing, and so friendly. Total dreamboats. Wait, what was the question? Who wrote There Will Come Soft Rains? I'm sorry Mrs. Grayson, I will pay attention from now on.
  11. Do I smell? Did I forget deodorant today? OH. NO. Steve is eating Funyuns behind me AGAIN. Gross. Stop it Steve!
  12. I really should have made a Valentine’s card for my Mom. She’s sweet.
  13. Is anyone going to give me chocolate? ANYONE?
  14. Maybe I could pick up some flowers for my mom on the way home?
  15. Well, at least I did all my homework and was prepared for that pop quiz! Brain 1, Heart 0.
  16. This red, pink, and gold outfit is too cool for this school. I’ve got to move to New York. Someone get Marc Jacobs on the phone ASAP.
  17. Did Emma paint perfect hearts on her nails? So cute. I should follow her on Pinterest.
  18. What did Mrs. Grayson just say? “Now it’s time to give our classmates our Valentine’s cards?” Is she kidding right now? What is this, the 5th grade?
  19. Was in it just Christmas? Like, yesterday?
  20. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME.
  21. HE/SHE/THAT SPECIAL PERSON UNDERSTANDS ME.
  22. At least my bff and I made each other playlists for Valentines.
  23. I wonder if Steve has a Valentine’s day date.
  24. Maybe the whole Funyuns thing is a cry for help. He’s desperately lonely and it’s the only thing he can think of to get my attention? He’s probably been madly in love with me all semester.
  25. Wait. What do you mean he has a girlfriend at the other high school? Funyuns-tongue has been dating someone for a year and meanwhile, the secret love of my life won’t even make eye contact with me?
  26. That’s it. I’m going home.
  27. I can not believe the nurse didn’t let me leave school. A broken heart due to an existential crisis over the injustice of love is the best reason ever to send someone home.
  28. At least my dog loves me.
  29. Oh, what’s this in my locker? A secret Valentine’s?
  30. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.
  31. What a perfect day.

Are you emotionally equipped to handle V Day?

Topics: Life, Valentine's Day
Tags: dating, crushes, valentines, feels, stages

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About the Author
Ashley Brooke Roberts

Ashley Brooke Roberts is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor living in Brooklyn. She's a performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and can usually be found smiling at random dogs on the street. Follow her on twitter at @AshleyBRoberts.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.