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Your February 2014 Horoscopes Are Here!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Hopefully you're ready for Valentine's Day, Aries, which of course falls on February 14th, so if you are shot by a naked baby on this day then you should think nothing of it. If you are shot by a baby on any other day, it means good luck. The 14th (or 13th or 15th, depending on whom you ask) is also Singles Awareness Day, a day to fight back against the Big Valentine's industry by moping around alone and crying into food. Your lucky weird word is rannygazoo, which means trickery or scheming.

Topics: Life
Tags: horoscopes, slideshows, the future

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