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The Best of Melissa's 2013

The Best of Melissa's 2013

By Melissa Albert

Melissa routinely uses her body as a food crash test dummy, has been to the Sorbonne (not just in song), and has incredible bone structure. She is a Sparkitor extraordinaire. 

Best song of 2013?

This isn't from 2013, but I found myself humming/singing it constantly.

Catchphrase you couldn’t stop saying this year

NBD. I'm starting to annoy myself.

Most surprising thing in 2013

Foie gras gum is a thing! Created by the devil.

Celeb crush

Jason Segel, I love your awkwardly tall body, dopey-sexy voice, and portrayal of an über-sensitive 1980s drummer boy.

Celeb BFF

Michelle Williams and her pixie cut are the cutest. (And the line for Jennifer Lawrence is just so longggg.)

Estimated increase in time spent on Internet

I now keep my phone right next to my bed and check my email/Facebook/the weather/Twitter 7 seconds after completing my final dream cycle of the morning. Also, the Internet is kind of my boss? So...35% increase.

Estimated years until we have flying cars

I refuse to speculate. I won't be burned again.

What you learned from Sparklife

That NaNoWriMo is 5,000x more fun if I try it with Sparklers.

Whose hair you wanted this year

Connie Britton Rayna Jaymes, you are perfect woman. How do you manage to be the queen of country, raise two daughters, juggle sexy country star boyfriends, AND maintain your perfect hair all at the same time? Dear Santa, don't let Nashville get canceled this year! Sincerely, Melissa + the moms of America

Favorite selfie

Any photo I take of myself counts, right? Here, I screen-shot my starring turn in Liquid Kung Fu, a movie my friend Tim made in high school. I played the girl who has no sense of humor and breaks the guy's heart. HOLLYWOOD, WE NEED BETTER ROLES FOR WOMEN

Least favorite selfie that you still have for some reason

Bo Larkin and I had a selfie competition. We both lost with this round.

Best thing that happened to you

Managing to fight my way through 17 lines of defense (including a Big Boss and a water level) to make it onto the deck of the good ship SparkLife. I'M WRITING THIS FROM INSIDE THE BUILDING. It smells like donuts and Dagger's JGL-scented body pillow.

Most embarrassing moment

All the times I meant to text ABOUT somebody, then texted TO them instead. Then had to be like, "HAHAHA, AMIRITE."

Favorite thing you wrote

Gross food reviews continue to bring me candy-sushi levels of joy.

Favorite SparkLife post you read

Auntie speaks the truth, Bo Larkin and Caitlin Jefko are amazing art updaters, Jono is my favorite Secret Santa 4 lyfe, Dan's flirting guide is the reason I'm currently in a Monaco nightclub with Channing Tatum and The Rock, and I'm shooting the ground around Josh's feet right now in hopes of "encouraging" him to review more reviews.

Favorite piece of clothing/accessory

Jeans, glorious jeans! Pretty much the same pair 4 to 6 days a week, unless it's over 80 degrees.

Favorite movie of 2013

I can't remember half the things I've seen, so I'm just going to go with Much Ado About Nothing. Also American Hustle, even though the people behind me in the theater kept dropping things on the floor, turning on their flashlight apps, and fighting over who had to leave the theater to get more soda.

Topics: Life
Tags: sparkitors, pixie cuts, jason segel, 2013, best of 2013

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About the Author
Melissa Albert

Melissa Albert reads books, worries about other people’s dogs (they look thirsty), and eats horrible candy for fun and profit. When not wearing her extremely tasteful Sparkitor hat, she’s an editor for the Barnes & Noble Book Blog. You can find her on Twitter @mimi_albert, or in the hot pretzel section of your local cafeteria.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.