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22 Signs You're Too Cold For a Relationship

22 Signs You're Too Cold For a Relationship

By Bailey_Swilley

It's the holiday season and love is in the crisp, holly-scented air! But maybe not for you... find out if your heart is too frozen for a romantic couples skate down at the ice rink!

1. Your cat turns to stone whenever he looks at you.

2. You make your siblings cry once a week, but it's not your fault they're weaklings!

3. You only come down to the dinner table if your parents text you the time and place.

4. Every invitation you've had to go on a date has been way too open-ended and confusing. Example: "Hey, maybe sometime, you and I could... Well, if you wanted to, go do something together.. If you had time.. Or not." Huh?

5. Your friends bring you a present every time they're late to an outing.

6. Whenever you go out to eat at your favorite diner, your server is the new hire because all of the oldies are afraid of you.

7. Your teachers ask you if you're "okay with" the grade they plan to give you.

8. You have a triple lock system on your bedroom door to keep "annoyances" out.

9. All of your past Valentine cards have been shredded, soaked, turned into pulp, dried and made into pink toilet paper. At least you're eco-friendly?

10. You hate warm and cozy drinks, like hot caramel cider and hot chocolate. You prefer ice water.

11. In fact, you hate warm and cozy everything: blankets, fire places, chestnuts... "Get 'em all outta here!" That's what you always say.

12. Your favorite movie is The Dark Knight.

13. Your favorite fictional character is Voldemort.

14. You've never smiled in a school picture. EVARRR.

15. Every holiday movie on TV makes you gag. Every romantic holiday movie makes you barf!

16. The thought of a first date gives you the hives.

17. The best part of being asked out is thinking of a creative one-liner to use as a rebuff. Your faves include, "How about we don't do that and say we did because I have some Netflixing to do" and "I'd love to but... I've got to oil this tin chest of mine."

18. When your best friend tells you any sort of complaint about her S.O., you start uncontrollably chanting, "Dump him! Love sucks! Dump him! Love sucks!" It's freaky.

19. The only holiday song you feel you can relate to is "Walking In a Winter Wonderland," which you have conveniently changed to "Walking in the wind when you are mad."

20. To you, showers and soups are best served cold.

21. When your alarm goes off in the morning, your family shivers and whisper, "She's up!!!!!" Then they promptly whip up your cold oatmeal.

22. You only give out sympathy cards for every occasion, including birthdays, Hanukkah, graduations, et cetera.

Any of these sound like you? Let us know your most frigid attributes! 

Topics: Life
Tags: relationships, awkward, dating, heart of stone, prickly people, is this you?

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About the Author
Bailey_Swilley

Bailey Swilley is a writer, web production editor, and comedian living in Brooklyn. She loves to talk about dogs, musical theatre, and celebs... especially Beyonce.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.