Skip over navigation

Best Things to Yell Out When Your Plane Takes Off

Best Things to Yell Out When Your Plane Takes Off

By Sean McCarthy

You're strapped in, and you've got 14 golden hours of fly time ahead of you with 300 of your closest friends, or a bunch of business men from Milwaukee. Whatever. How do you become mayor of this square? Yell something endearing at take-off! Try:

“So once the seatbelt light goes off we’re all playing ‘Duck, Duck, Goose’ right?”

“Do you think someone on the ground is looking up going ‘It’s a bird, it’s superman, no wait it’s a plane!’ Man that would be hilarious.”

“Memphis Bell you’ve got bandits on your six! (Make machine gun noises).”

“Oh my God is there a doctor on board?! ... I’m just checking for later.”

“Kick that throttle up, let’s see what this baby can do.”

“We gotta go back I forgot my keys!”

“Do I smell gas … ?”

“Let’s all make bird noises while we’re flying. CAW CAW CAW (repeat for eight hours).”

“Don’t worry, I had a long conversation with the pilot in the bar before take-off, he seems like he knows what he’s doing.”

“So should we draw straws now to figure out who gets eaten if we crash?”

“Can I take my baby out of my carry on now?”

“Do you think a jedi could fly a plane with the force instead of navigation equipment?”

“That’s the inflight movie!? Oh I saw it last week, it was great. The butler is the killer the whole time!”

“See? We took off fine. I told my brother his psychic premonition about something terrible happening to this plane was nonsense.”

“Uh oh, row 17, prepare to meet that burrito I just ate.”

“You guys don’t mind if I get some welding done during the flight, do you?”

“Hey I know this is a red eye but I’m just letting you know that if I start screaming at any point my behavioral therapist says it’s a natural part of me overcoming my in flight anxiety.”

“I didn’t bring headphones but I’m watching this movie on my laptop anyway so I hope you all like Battleship!”

What do you like to yell to win hearts and minds?

Topics: Life
Tags: planes, lists, traveling, joyful noise, things to yell, joy at life

Write your own comment!


Write your own comment!