It's entirely possible to sleep, eat, study, read, watch TV, shop online, and gossip without ever leaving the comfort of our beds. Horizontal living is the new status quo! It’s a wonderful life for humans now that saber-toothed tigers are no longer out to get us, and we’ve outgrown hunter-gatherer status. But there are side effects to spending 12+ hours a day in bed: the wear and tear of constant flopping, not to mention our tendency to eat s'mores in bed. It's easy to say goodbye to old sheets and blankets, but getting rid of your favorite pillow is tough. Pillows are basically the grown-up, non-embarrassing version of a security blanket, but hanging onto a grody pillow can be bad for your health. Here are ten signs that you should probably toss your face pad and invest in a new one:
1. You can still see the tear stains from your last breakup, and the BIGGER tear stains from when Fred Weasley died.
2. Last time you changed your pillowcase you found an old math test, micro glitter, and a slice of ham from your brief deli-meat phase.
3. Your pillow has grown sentient, and occasionally moves around when you're out of the room.
4. Last time you got in a pillow fight, you gave someone a concussion, because all your pillow's stuffing had condensed into rock-hard balls of doom.
5. You actually think it’s more comfortable to sleep on the ground.
6. Your pillow is a family heirloom, having traveled with your grandparents from the old country two generations ago.
7. Crumbs fall out every time you try to fluff it.
8. Trying to sleep with your pillow brings on an allergy attack worse than the ones you get during peak pollen days.
9. That funky smell in your room? It's coming from your pillow.
10. Not even your dog wants to sleep on it anymore, and your dog regularly takes naps in your family’s compost heap.
Is it time YOU got a new pillow?