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Signs That YOU Are The Problem Roommate

Signs That YOU Are The Problem Roommate

By RG Daniels

Roommates are a part of life. At some point or another you will most likely have one (or eight) and it'll be a real test of patience. You will quickly identify your threshold for annoying habits and lack of space. But what if living with a roommate is going extremely well? What if things are going almost too well. What if you are the problem roommate? Here are a few warning signs that not everyone thinks your dorm room is a utopia of awesome roommates, even if you do.

You wash your clothes in the kitchen sink and dry them in the microwave.

You think it's OK to invite the band Mastodon over to rehearse any time they please.

You triggered the robot apocalypse ON PURPOSE simply because you thought "it'd be rad." (House rule #5! No triggering the robotpocalypse without a house vote.)

You decorated the place in "hamster cage chic" and your roommate has to sleep in the exercise wheel.

You carry around your own bowl to eat out of and refuse to wash up anything else in the apartment. Your bowl is actually a motorcycle helmet.

You host a weekly game show where contestants vie for prizes that are really just your roommates leftovers.

Your S.O. is one of those British judges from a reality show who won't stop commenting that your roommates bedroom is "disgraceful."

You wake up at sunrise every morning and the first thing you do is rehearse your tap dance routine … with seven of your tap-dancing friends by your side. (House rule #11: No glittery outfits before noon.)

You always steal the best parking space—the living room.

You are running an underground gambling ring where guys with names like Matty the Meat-head and Boris Punchyouintheface routinely come over and hang out, but you insist it's all good 'cuz even though they carry nunchucks on them at all times, they are really down-to-earth people.

You allow the San Diego Chargers to practice in your kitchen SPECIFICALLY when your roommate is trying to make brownies.

You bought a book of wizard spells and make it snow in the living room every Sunday morning because you love Christmas.

You sanctioned your apartment as an official headquarters for a hedgehog convention. (House rule #15: No hedgehogs off-leash.)

You don't just sing in the shower. You sing the entire "Grease" soundtrack from beginning to end, which can take up to an hour or so.

You are a Kardashian.

Topics: Life, College Makeovers
Tags: etiquette, roommates, dorm rooms, college life, robotpocalypse

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About the Author
RG Daniels

RG Daniels is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. He likes ‘90s one-hit wonders, breakfast for dinner, and koala bears. He is currently on Level 163 in Candy Crush.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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