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Auntie SparkNotes: I Might Graduate Early, But What About My BF?

Auntie SparkNotes: I Might Graduate Early, But What About My BF?

Hey Auntie,
I'm 16 and a sophomore in high school with the option of graduating next year, if I take an extra science course. It would be fantastic to graduate next year because then I can have a year off before college. However, there is a downside, a weird and crazy downside, for graduating early: my boyfriend (let's call him Jack).

There is no way he can graduate early with me, and there are some crazy girls at my school who would more than likely try to make a move on him if I'm not there. And one of them in particular (let's call her Jill) who has had a past with him (and most of the boys at our school). If I am not there senior year, Jill is definitely gonna try to make a move on Jack and that will indefinitely suck. I don't think Jack would do anything but that's not the point, it's the principle of the matter. Also if she surprise kiss-attacks him he won't have enough time to karate chop her in self defense. Also in past experiences and observations, relationships that are mildly "long distance" like this one would be have not worked out.

I feel like I am going crazy worrying about this being that its a year or two away, and that I am being an overly obsessed girlfriend, but I really don't know what to do. What would you do in this situation, Auntie?

Would would I do? Um. Er. Well, okay: I would hide in a closet under a pile of shoes and scream my face off at the unspeakable horror of having been sent back in time to do high school all over again, because OH MY GOD ACTUAL WORST NIGHTMARE.

But after I did that, I guess I'd do this: I'd ask myself, all things considered, exactly what I was hoping to accomplish by graduating early.

Because here's the thing: when a person graduates a year ahead, she does it in order to move on to the next chapter of her life—and because she doesn't want to spend even a second more of that life obsessing over the social minutiae of the place she just left. Basically, she does it because they're over high school... and because, while she might be in a relationship, she's mature enough to understand that relationships are based on trust, and to not give a second thought to the purported hordes of rabid teenage she-monsters walking around with their mouths open, just waiting for her to be gone, so that they can work their sexy black magic on her boyfriend. (Who, useless lump that he is, will apparently have no choice but to succumb to their feminine wiles and drown in a sea of sluts.)

In other words: you say, "I don't think Jack would do anything but that's not the point." But actually, darling, that is exactly the point, and it's the only one that a girl savvy enough to be graduating would care about. She'd trust her boyfriend, she'd move on with her life, and she wouldn't think twice about the classless behavior of other girls.

Whereas what you're doing is taking your insecurity and immaturity, and dressing it up as a principled stand against something which not only might not even happen, but which would be utterly beyond your control even if it did. You cannot keep other girls from approaching your boyfriend, whether you're in school with him or not. You cannot keep your boyfriend from being interested in other girls, whether you're in school with him or not. There's no guarantee that you'll stay together, whether you're in school with him or not, or that you'll even want to continue the relationship by the time you graduate.

And of course, there's also no guarantee that graduating would spell the end of your relationship.

Here's what you can count on, though: if you graduate from high school, you will have graduated from high school. The things that go on there will no longer be your concern. Which is why, if you're gonna do it, you'll need more important things with which to concern yourself than who might or might not be hitting on your boyfriend in your absence. A job, a hobby, a travel plan, an early admittance to the college of your choice—anything that occupies your mind and fills your time, so that you're not spending a year with nothing better to do than gaze back at the place you just were. And if you don't have that, or don't want it? Then do yourself a favor and stay where you are… at least until your excitement at whatever you're moving on to outweighs your fear over what you're leaving behind.

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Topics: Advice
Tags: graduation, auntie sparknotes, relationships, college, trust, boyfriends

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About the Author

Kat Rosenfield is a writer, illustrator, advice columnist, YA author, and enthusiastic licker of that plastic liner that comes inside a box of Cheez-Its. She loves zombies and cats. She hates zombie cats. Follow her on Twitter or Tumblr @katrosenfield.

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