It was storming.
You were drowning.
The dark room wasn't hiding you from yourself. You were so lost. You had lost something in you. Worse yet you had list someone. The blackness was so suiting. You remember all the colors
Grey in the day you met them. You were alone. The clouds were dark, the weather was grim, you were a different person. But they were not grey. They were different, they stood out against your world.
Lavender for getting to know them. The grey was changing. It wasn't quite as dark, not so lonely. The colors were changing. Could this happen? It was all so new.
Blue when they were there for you. There was a black crack in your life, it was worse than the grey you had known. It had burdened you, but looking back it seemed small to the blackness of today. But it was taking you over then. They fixed it though, fixed you. Things were bright.
Green was the perfect world. It was your world together. Green and warm and fertile. Green grass and trees, green sweaters and album covers, the world had green wonders in it. The songs you had never heard, the people you had never met. And you had someone to discover with.
Turquoise for the late nights. Nights empty of sleep but full of talk, about life, music, everything you knew.
Yellow was that summer. Doesn't everyone have a yellow summer? Bright, warm and free. Sticky and sweet. Carefree even when you didn't know cares. Full of love, even though you didn't know it. You were in love.
Orange for change. The yellow was leaving, a little darker, things were different. It was chilly, the air felt different. And one night they didn't say good bye. You went different ways, and even though you tried to fix it, nothing was the same anymore. Red for the breaking. For when you had a fight. Or maybe you didn't. You couldn't remember, couldn't care. Something broke. Maybe it was a big crash, or a crack splitting slowly breaking apart. But the pieces aren't touching. You wan everything to be ok, to be green or yellow again, but they couldn't help that.
They pushed you away. They pushed you.
You pushed you. Now you were here.
In your room. Alone. Thinking and thinking, remembering. Trying to find what went wrong. What happened? What was it? Nothing. There was nothing. You were nothing. Nothing to them. Not anymore. And you know what? You didn't care. Maybe you weren't quite nothing. Maybe you were just a little more than that one person. What did they think of you? Did they think of you still? But you are more. So much more. Every single person you know makes you more. And you know what? You might even see a little bit of lavender. Maybe your own lavender. The storm storm stayed, but maybe you could be fine.
Originally published on September 21, 2013.