Driving is one of those things we must all learn to do. This doesn't mean we have to like doing it, or even that we have to be particularly good at it. Sure, for some, the need for speed and hitting the open road with your tunes blaring is what life's all about. But for the rest of us, life is about pizza. Likewise, some of us are naturally awesome drivers, and some of us are...not so naturally awesome. If you've ever stopped and pondered whether or not you're a bad driver—you probably are. Here are 8 signs that prove it:
1. You Always Drive Alone
You've got a dope ride, all tricked out and shiny. Your car is clean inside and out! It smells like heaven and fresh french fries. And yet...you are always driving alone. Your friends would rather pile into a stanky, ugly, compact hand-me-down than risk going anywhere with you. They love you and everything, but they love their lives more.
2. Your Mom Won't Stop Screaming
We're not just talking about when she's forced to be in a car with you. She's just screaming nonstop. From the day you got your license, every time you see her, the woman is in full banshee mode. She screams for you, she screams for the other folks on the road, she's screams for us all. It's pretty weird.
3. People Keep Suggesting Walks
Even the laziest people you know are all about exercise these days. "We should go for a drive!" You say. "WHAT ABOUT A BRISK JOG INSTEAD?" says your best friend, running away from you, Doritos taco still in hand. They may be toying with you, but at least they're doing it while keeping you healthy.
4. You're Me
I didn't have a driver's license until I was 30. Yeah. 30 years old. If you see that I'm driving a car, you should get out of that car. Immediately.
If everyone in your car is trying to quietly hide their tears, chances are you're a terrible driver. It could also be that they have endured an unspeakable tragedy. But odds are the only tragedy they've borne is having to deal with your tendency to rock the brake.
6. No Cab Company will Hire You
Cab drivers are, inexplicably, some of the worst drivers on the planet. They go way too fast, or way too slowly. They have no issue screaming and/or honking at any/everyone. They put their lives (and yours) on the line daily. But cab companies won't look twice at your resumé after your trial drive. Because you are the actual worst.
7. Look at That!
If you're driving the car and you're still the first person to notice a cute animal/funny sign/shirtless man/dingo eating a baby outside, then good for you! You have incredible powers of perception. So how about redirecting them toward the road, huh, champ?
8. The Cops Know Your Name
Sure, you might not get a ticket every time they pull you over, but if you and your local law enforcement are on a first-name basis, the time has come to reevaluate what you're doing behind the wheel, and then stop doing that thing.
Are you a bad driver? How can you tell?