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Non-Sexy Halloween Costume Ideas

Non-Sexy Halloween Costume Ideas

By Valerie Burn

Halloween. It's a holiday that should, in theory, be so much fun. There's candy! And dressing up! And night-time stuff! Instead, it's been turned into a "sexiest sex bomb looking for sexy sex candy" contest. It's like all the Halloween costume-makers got together and decided that anything and everything could—nay, must—be sexy. Sexy Big Bird, sexy dinosaur, sexy banana ... It's gotten to the point that we're wondering: Are there any costumes they can't make sexy?

We would not be surprised to see:

  • Sexy booger
  • Sexy sense of impending doom
  • (S)existential crisis
  • Hot Pocket
  • Naughty oatmeal
  • Neti-hot
  • Sexy macaroni and cheese

So what's a costume-lover to do? Fortunately, there are many options for non-sexy costumes. You might have to put in a little work yourself (or shell out megabucks for a pre-made one, though where's the fun in that?), but it will be worth it in the end.

Here are some real-deal ideas for non-sexy Halloween costumes:

We hope this inspires you to make or find a great costume that you can be comfortable (and warm!) in. Because being comfortable and relaxed is a lot sexier than any sexy-sex-something costume. Not that we're trying to be sexy anyway.

What are your plans for Halloween? Do you have plans for a sexy or unsexy costume?

Topics: Life
Tags: comic books, halloween, brave, halloween costume

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About the Author
Valerie Burn

Valerie Burn is a very cool Midwestern lady. She has lived in tons of exciting places, such as Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota, and Michigan. She spends her free time snuggling her beautiful, perfect dog Teddy, and reading the entire internet every day. Valerie enjoys eating things, buying things, and writing things, as well as watching terrible TV.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.