Top 10 Places to Visit on the Shoulders of Justin Bieber's Bodyguards
Tour de Belieber moved across East Asia this week, with the pop prince soaking up some of the culture and making the pilgrimage to one of the eight Wonders of the World, the Great Wall of China. However, the wall, which dates back as far as the 7th century B.C., proved too great a foe for the crisp young legs of 19-year-old Justin Bieber, which took in the sights from atop the shoulders of his bodyguards, as one might ride an elephant through the hills of Thailand. We here at SparkLife think Bieber has stumbled onto something, or his bodyguards stumbled onto something his behalf: A kingly way to visit remote tourist attractions, as was the custom during the Ming Dynasty of the 14th century. But don't stop at China! Here are the best places in the world to be carried by Justin Bieber's bodyguards before you die.
Visit the Neolithic and Bronze age monument to croquet in Wiltshire, England, standing on the tops of Justin Beiber's bodyguards shoulders, cloaked by a long overcoat to create the illusion that you are a giant strolling through a series of ordinary garden arches.
9. The Leaning Tower of Pisa
On your next trip to Italy, travel to the famous bell tower in the town of Pisa, balanced asymmetrically across the gristly shoulders of Justin Beiber's bodyguards.
8. Taj Mahal
If you find yourself in India's "Golden Triangle," ask yourself how many platinum records you have while strolling the palatial grounds of the Taj Mahal in a man-sized sling across the burly chest of one of Justin Bieber's bodyguards.
7. Empire State Building
You are going to have a tough time fitting inside the elevator, tossed over the shoulder of one of Justin Bieber's bodyguards like a firehose, but the view from the top of this architectural wonder is absolutely worth it.
6. The Grand Canyon
Many tourists hoping to explore America's Grand Canyon take a mule down one of the tracks from the rim to the valley floor. We recommend you get each of Justin Bieber's bodyguards a mule, and have them slot you into the saddlebags for a second-to-none view of the Southwest.
5. The Sydney Opera House
Hey, down in front! I guess it's too bad for the opera buffs in row K, because the only way to take in "Figaro" at Australia's penultimate architectural landmark is on the shoulders of one of Justin Bieber's bodyguards, in close proximity to the orchestra.
Plenty of people have summited Everest before, but none have summited Justin Bieber's bodyguard's shoulders on top of Everest. Enjoy the full 29,036 feet of elevation before you run out of oxygen.
3. The Serengeti
Observe Africa's wild animals in their natural surrounds while chewing the tops of a mimosa tree on the shoulders of one of Justin Bieber's bodyguards.
2. Mall of America
Good morning Minnesota!!! There are just some very good deals to be had while on the shoulders of one of Justin Bieber's bodyguards.
1. Space Mountain, Disney's Magical Kingdom
Give yourself and each of Justin Bieber's bodyguards a honeymoon to remember at the happiest place on Earth. Be sure to pick up a photo from the rollercoaster cam of you descending at 100 mph in pitch black on the shoulders of Justin Bieber's bodyguards. Afterwards, enjoy a turn through "It's a Small World."
What do you think of Bieber's horsey ride? Should we all just build a wall and get over it?