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Non-Horror Movies That Should be Horror Movies

Non-Horror Movies That Should be Horror Movies

By Randy Walker

The MindHut

Ever been watching a movie you're not that into and thought to yourself "this whole thing would be a lot better if a psychopath in a hockey mask came in and just offed everyone?"

No? Just us?

Well, this got us thinking and we put together a list of regular non-scary movies that we feel would be improved if they were turned into horror films. Enjoy!

1. Life of Pi

Imagine this: a ship sinks in the middle of the ocean, and there are no known survivors. BUT in the months and years that follow the sinking there are rumors among the ocean sailors that there were actually two survivors of that wreck. A disturbed boy and a wild tiger. Legend has it that they were able to escape on a lifeboat, and now they roam the seas looking for lonely ships full of human flesh to fill both of their bellies. Not much thought is given to these rumors, until a luxurious cruise ship reports finding a lifeboat floating in the middle of the ocean. Their last communication stated that they were bringing the boat aboard, but that it appeared to be empty, and then they were never heard from again. Now a coast guard team is sent to inspect the cruise liner... little do they know what horror awaits them.

2. Silver Linings Playbook

In the real movie, two people with severe anger issues and mental disorders find that love is the only way to stop the pain that haunts their daily lives. OK, not bad. But you know what’s stronger than love? Murder. That’s right, two people with severe anger issues and mental disorders find that the only way to stop the daily pain of life is to murder those that drive them crazy. SPOILER ALERT: Robert de Niro as the bellowing dad has a much smaller part in this version.

3. Magic Mike

As far as we know, there has never been a horror movie involving male strippers as the killers, which almost seems impossible. Just imagine Matthew Mcconaughey and Channing Tatum knocking on the doors of wanting women, while disguised as police officers who are really strippers who are really murderers, giving their customers one last dance before they meet a-not-so-happy ending.

4. Pitch Perfect

In a small liberal arts college, nothing is bigger than a capella singing. And when an all women’s a capella singing group, the Barden Bellas, become the joke of the university thanks to a blunderous performance, they all agree to go through with ritual suicide. However, it is in death that they find new life… in revenge! The a cappella group now haunts those that mocked them in their dreams. The victim never sees their killers’ faces in their dreams, only their voices, as they sing to them, softly at first, and then louder and louder and louder, until they reach the perfect pitch that causes the victims head to explode.

5. World War Z

This one would be pretty basic, you could keep the same story and events, only you would add certain things. You know like gore, violence, on-screen deaths and all the horrifying things that would happen in a zombie apocalypse that this (cough, PG-13, cough) movie oddly forgot about.

6. Great Gatsby

Our version would have the whole movie play out during one of Jay Gatsby’s lavish parties, where we find the Great Gatsby rich, drunk, and sick of the bourgeoisie New York types that come to his party, drink his booze, and then judge him for being just another common bootlegger. At tonight’s party, the Great Gatsby is gonna give these socialites a party they’ll never forget… and never leave. (We’ll keep the soundtrack and the zebras in the pool, though, because they are just adorable.)

What movie would you like to see horror-fied?

Topics: Life, Mindhut
Tags: movies, horror, the great gatsby, lists, scary movies, books-and-comics

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About the Author
Randy Walker

Randy Walker is a writer. His mother finds his writing hilarious, his father wonders where he went wrong. Randy recently moved to New Orleans where he now performs standup comedy and improv. He is currently working on several short stories that may or may not include a pirate named Scruffy.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.