IT'S OFFICIAL, TRI-BUTTS: I AM PART OF THE REBELLION.
SLIGHTLY LESS OFFICIAL BUT STILL TOTALLY REAL: I AM KATNISS EVERDEEN'S BEST FRIEND. AND CINNA'S TOO. AND DEFINITELY PEETA'S. AND FINNICK'S. ALSO GALE'S, BUT HE DOESN'T TEXT ME AS MUCH AS HE USED TO, PROBABLY 'CUZ HE'S BUSY WITH CATCHING TURKEYS AND STUFF I GUESS.
How did all of these glorious things come to pass? LEMME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU:
I was just sitting at home, minding my own business (aka Googling "IS SAM CLAFLIN SINGLE?!?") when someone knocked on my door. I did what any normal person would do (threw myself over the top of the couch and hid on the floor until they went away) and then snuck out into the hallway to look around and make sure no one was giving out free pancake dinners. AND LO AND BEHOLD, I found a thin package addressed to me, with the tiny words "Description: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire" buried amidst barcodes and airmail stamps. As you can imagine, my first reaction was total surprise, which was followed by absolute glee, which was quickly replaced by the short version of my excited dance (the long version lasts 13 minutes and is excruciating both to perform and to watch). I ripped the package to shreds with my bare hands, and then, as if in slow motion, out tumbled a white letter and something wrapped in glittering gold tissue paper.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS IN THAT TISSUE PAPER, BUTTS?! DO YOU?!
IT WAS MY VERY OWN AUTHENTIC MOCKINGJAY PIN, IDENTICAL TO THE ONE THAT JENNIFER LAWRENCE/KATNISS EVERDEEN/MY ALL-TIME GREATEST GIRL CRUSH WEARS IN THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIE. OH YES. IT'S TRUE. THERE ARE PHOTOGRAPHS TO PROVE IT.
As I was shrieking and jumping up and down and victory-hip-thrusting all over the place, I managed to read the letter (sent by SparkLife's incredible pals at Lionsgate), which basically said that Finnick Odair is desperately in lurve with me and thinks my sweatiness is wildly attractive (I'm paraphrasing). It ALSO said that THERE ARE JUST 50 DAYS until the 75th Annual Hunger Games begin and Catching Fire is released, which means that if you guys don't get that time machine finished POST-HASTE, I AM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND. I CANNOT WAIT 50 DAYS. I NEED MY FINNICK FIX.
I've got some EPIC Catching Fire content for ya as the movie's release gets closer, so CONSTANT VIGILANCE is the name of the game, tributtskis! Check back often, keep your bows at the ready, and make sure your cake-decorating skillz are PRIMED. Oh, and always, always:
CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE HOW EXCELLENT AND GLORIOUS MY PIN IS?! HOW ARE WE GOING TO SURVIVE 50 WHOLE DAYS UNTIL THE PREMIERE OF CATCHING FIRE?!