Life is a lot of things (a highway, but a dream, like a box of chocolates), but mostly it’s confusing and just rife with Situations and Problems and Debacles. But some people seem to have it all together. They stride about purposefully, finger guns blazing as they exude confidence and smile broadly with nothing stuck in their teeth. It’s incredible. It’s infuriating. But I’m here to tell you a secret… you can be that person, too. Sometimes you just need to remind yourself that you are an awesome human being, and back it up with facts and logic. So next time you're down on yourself or lacking a little something in the self-esteem department, just remember:
1. You’re the product of millions of years of natural selection. Even your flaws are considered the more desirable traits that wound up getting passed on down the conveyer belt of genetic inheritance.
2. You can do a Netflix marathon. You can go out and join the circus. You can eat a grilled cheese for breakfast. Life is a choose-your-own-adventure game, and that’s a pretty good reason to get up in the morning.
3. You have a brain and it's SO AMAZING. You are capable of conscious thought, and you can create worlds in your head or on paper, and you have the hypothetical ability to memorize impossible things like all the digits of pi or the cast of Game of Thrones in its entirety.
4. You can put as many marshmallows in your hot chocolate as you damn well please, and the repercussions are pretty much nonexistent. That’s a lot of power, and it’s yours for the taking.
5. You have opportunities nowadays that people in history never had. Queen Elizabeth I never saw Mean Girls. Shakespeare never ate a Funfetti cake. William the Conqueror never used a Slinky.
6. Humans laugh. That is a thing they do. Someone at one point thought it would be a good idea to indicate an appreciation for humor by making a mouth sound. You do it too, presumably, and you’re capable of making other people laugh as well, and that’s absolutely delightful.
7. Sea otters sleep holding hands to keep from drifting apart. I know it seems like I’m getting tangential here, but come on. You don’t have to view otters on a regular basis to benefit from that cuteness. It’s just nice to know that somewhere out there at any given moment there are handholding otters, and we’re all better people for it.
8. At any time, you can stop whatever you’re doing, get up, go to the store, and buy candy. Wars have been fought over sugar. Wars have essentially been fought over by what today would be considered the capacity to make or not make Kit-Kat bars. And you—yes, YOU—can buy those by the DOZEN.
9. All of the chemical elements that make up our bodies are the same ones that once made up stars all over the universe. So, in the immortal words of Carl Sagan, we’re made of star-stuff. You’re made of star-stuff. And even more importantly, in the words of the Backstreet Boys, you’re a shining star, that is what you are, and there’s no one like you, baby.
10. You have friends, probably, which is both weird and incredible. You’ve got this platonic arrangement based upon the mutual exchange of trust and inside jokes. There’s no biological imperative for having someone to swipe French fries from when you didn’t want to order your own, yet you managed to accrue a few of those people all the same. Well done.
11. You can either do something as unnatural and amazing as a cartwheel, or you get to occasionally witness someone doing something as unnatural and amazing as a cartwheel. There are no losers here, only winners.
12. Opposable thumbs. Odds are, you have ‘em. I feel like we don’t pay tribute to opposable thumbs as often as we should. They enable you to climb things, open jars, and text frantically outside the movie theater while waiting for your friend to show up because they’re late and probably don’t even have a good reason. And you wound up on that branch of the evolutionary tree. Congrats!
13. You have the ability to get up and dust yourself off. And every time you do it, you’re one day closer to your next birthday, or Christmas, or Bastille Day.
14. Also, you’re one day closer to your next Taco Supreme.
15. There are people out there who haven’t heard the Beatles or read Harry Potter or, you know, eaten a Funfetti cake (looking at you, Shakespeare), which is tragically sad. But you know what? That just proves there are still astounding and life-altering things you haven’t yet experienced and THEY’RE ALL OUT THERE SOMEWHERE AND YOU CAN FIND THEM. You’re a human person with a brain and opposable thumbs and friends and flaws and Kit-Kat bars, as well as a bottomless pit of amazing things to read and watch and EAT (see: Taco Supreme). You’ve got a whole lifetime to do as much of it as you possibly can, and that, well, that makes you pretty awesome.
YOU'RE SO AWESOME WE CAN'T EVEN STAND IT. What's your favorite thing about YOU?