Hullo, Sparklers and Manklers all! So, as suggested by the 8 Dream Posts article, here are 14 reasons why awkward is the new attractive. (Please like if you agree this is a dream post. Heh. HEH. EHEHEHEH . . . ahem.)
So you cough awkwardly and fall down the stairs whenever you see that fantastic boy or girl you like? Well, good news awaits you, ladies and gents: people like gymnastics. And your crush may have thought that your beautiful, swanlike dive down the staircase was indeed beautiful and swanlike, even though you had to go to the hospital.
2. The fantastic role models.
You know who else was awkward? DR. HORRIBLE. And everyone loves Dr. Horrible! Sure, he stuttered while first talking to Penny and never actually approached her, but those beautiful songs will go down in history. Plus, she seemed to like him!
3. Your crush probably already knows you like them.
No. NO! Calm down! Take a deep breath. In. Out. Okay, there we go. Most people have to charmingly hint at their crushes, which takes time and courage and some natural talent. But you don't have to! Due to your natural awkwardness, your crush probably already knows, which saves you a lot of time and effort and courage.
4. Pre-made compliments.
Everyone likes to be liked, and because of the previous reason, your crush may know! That saves the rest of that whole uncomfortable "flirting" thing.
Your awkward mumble of "kajhagrhjgajbrrr" may have been mistaken for a suave "Your hair looks beautiful today. You should wear that more often. *flirty wink*." Well, maybe not. But have hope that it was, because if so, you are a very, very lucky person. Like, very. And luck is a good thing!
6. Time to prepare.
Your inbuilt awkwardness means that tiiiiime, is on your side, yes it is! It may be weeks, months, or years before any of us work up the courage to talk to our crushes, but that gives us ample time to figure out the perfect thing to say, such as "Gosh, this mystery meat is so confusing that Sherlock Holmes should investigate it. Oh, you like Sherlock? What a coincidence! *dashing grin*." Even if you end up saying it too fast and not giving him or her a chance to respond, Sherlock is still awesome. And Season 3 is coming out soon, so you can console yourself with that if it doesn't work out.
7. All the random romantic scenarios you imagine.
Like giving him a heart-shaped box of chocolates spelling "We should hang out sometime." Or setting her lawn on fire, but spelling out "I WATCH YOU IN YOUR SLEEP." Yes, that second one seems good!
We all overthink these things. That time your crush said "Excuse me" when you tripped over your feet and launched her paella right off of her lunch tray was clearly a long-thought-out remark showing her secret love for you. That = hope = more happiness = confidence! And confidence is a good quality.
9. You may save yourself all embarrassment possible.
Hey, if you never interact with your crush, you have a pretty good guarantee that they will not think anything bad about you, because they may not know you exist. See? Optimism!
10. More fun.
Less time spent attempting to be charming because of pure fear equals more time online or watching Supernatural. And the internet and Supernatural are both very good things.
11. Friends first.
So maybe you're too scared to actually tell your crush you like them: well, we're right there with you. But you should definitely at least talk to them, and then become friends! Studies actually do show that people are more likely to crush on their friends, so all the random players who locate the hottest nearby girl and crack out an overused pickup line have a serious disadvantage. I'm not even kidding here, that's not attractive in the least. That said, talk to your crush and hang out and stuff.
Your hysterical laughter when you actually manage to say something to your crush = AB WORKOUT. Enough said.
13. If you're female, you don't have to put on makeup!
The ridiculous amounts of blood rushing to your face will cover for both blush AND lipstick. Less time perfecting your natural appearance = more time developing courage. Also, hey, you're all natural now!
14. You don't have as much pressure to tell them!
All the people who have more courage than those of us who are dead awkward have way more pressure to actually tell their crush their feelings. WE ARE FREE FROM THAT, GOOD FRIENDS. So hallelujah! Celebrate your awkwardness, because it basically means we rock.
Hope you enjoyed!
DISCLAIMER: Any "acrobatics" or "embarrassment" or "arrest for arson" or "quiet death" is not the responsibility of this article. None of the tactics described here are recommended by medical professionals, or, well, anyone. Side effects may include: vomiting, blushing, coughing, stuttering, mumbling, and general awkwardness.
Originally published on September 18, 2013.