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The Friday Awards: Bacon and Pirates and AWWdorableness

The Friday Awards: Bacon and Pirates and AWWdorableness

By Jennifer Grudziecki

Happy Friday, Sparklers! Because we are kind and benevolent Dictators of the Earth, we have decided to give everyone the weekend off.  Yay, us! But because we are also MAGNIFICENT and GLORIOUS and CLASSY dictators, we are going to give out some Friday Awards, too! (Feel free to worship us in the comments.)

The #Bacon Award goes to tophfan for this comment on the Homecoming dress post:

What if I don't want to be any of these things???? WHAT THEN!?!?!

#personinthecorner

(Note: I do not know how hashtags work. I think they're a new kind of bacon. Am I right?)

Yes. Hashtags are #exactly #like #bacon.

The AWW Award goes to Dracosa for this comment on the post about belonging with your boyfriend's best friend:

I don't have a boy friend cause I'm a dude. But my best friend is a girl and she will soon be mine.

The Sad But True Award goes to AwesomePossum214 for this comment on the post about pockets:

We do realize that pockets on girl pants are pretty much non-existent, right?

The Tricky Trickster Award goes to Immzie for this comment on the Lies Our Parents Told Us post:

I never believed my parents. Possibly because my father used to make up the most unbelievable things...

However, I did manage to convince my mother that i believed in Santa Claus up until the age of 15...Just because I wanted to see how far she would take the whole 'We have to leave him out carrots! and wine! Mum, we have to leave santa a light on, He cant see in the dark...'

The Pint-Sized Pirate Award goes to FoxfaceSokolov for this comment on the dreadlocks post:

What are you talking about? Dreadlocks are deadly! Did you know that Blackbeard had set his beard-dreadlocks on fire? He would plunder ships with his hair on fire! What if this seven-year-old girl suddenly had the audacity to wear a pirate hat, buy a gun, and start plundernig ships? After all, everybody knows that childhood piracy is one of the leading causes of crime in America. Sooner or later, anybody wearing dreadlocks will start running around with sabres and slashing their innocent classmates for gold and glory!

*double sarcasm hands*

Now go enjoy your weekend, peasants. :]

Topics: The Internets
Tags: pirates, the friday awards, sparklife, comments, funny things, bacon, friday, the internets

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About the Author
Jennifer Grudziecki

Jennifer Grudziecki is a writer, intern, and soon-to-be college graduate living in New York City. Her life goal is to be a space pirate, and maybe to write a book along the way. Follow her on Twitter @JennyGrudzy or on Tumblr at www.jennigrudzi.tumblr.com/

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.