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Best and Worst Excuses to Get Out of Gym

Best and Worst Excuses to Get Out of Gym

By Sean McCarthy

Worst:

“My World of Warcraft guild has a raid.”

“I can’t hear the word 'pull up' without getting terrible flashbacks to that scene in Star Wars in which Porkins is shot down.”

“If I get any healthier I might achieve immortality and I’m not prepared to deal with the moral implications of that.”

“I’m supposed to be the cleric in my LARP group and it’s unrealistic if I’m too buff.”

“I’ve been intentionally depriving my body of calcium. My bones are too brutal for sustained movement.”

“Whenever I exercise, something bad happens.”

“Sometimes I go into berserker mode during particularly intense games of foursquare and I need you to understand the consequences.”

“I have to run on all fours so I can channel my inner spirit animal.” *Howl*

Best:

“I can’t participate in training that isn’t extreme enough to prepare me for the Navy SEALs.”

“Prove to me your kickballs aren’t made with child labor.”

“Can I do the one hundred meter dash in the direction of the principles office so I can show him these pictures I took of you?”

“I hope there’s no possibility of injury here because both of my parents are lawyers.”

“Does this look like blood in my vomit?”

“I’ll spoil the ending of Breaking Bad if you don’t let me leave.”

“My dad said to talk to him if there was a problem. Here’s the number of the UFC ring he will be fighting at.”

Topics: Life, Back to School
Tags: school, gym, lists, gym class, best and worst

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