Summer's on its way out, which means it's time to put down the shorts and pick up the Confidence Shorts. It's almost Homecoming season! What, were you just going to blurt out, “Wanna go to homecoming with me” like a chump? LAME. What if your crush is the one? You need an interesting and/or endearing story to tell about the day that the two of you became one, all thanks to your amazing inviting skills. Assuming you don’t have the resources to hire a skywriter, we came up with some other ideas that will help you through this stressful rite of passage:
Old School. Pass him a note saying “Will you go to homecoming with me? Check yes or no.” This will assure your crush that you are very mature, and the paradigm of a confident significant other.
Serenade Her. What speaks love better than a sweet song performed during her gym class, complete with jazz hands and box stepping? Initially the gym teacher will attempt to stop the “shenanigans,” but after the first chorus he'll laugh along with everyone else as your voice wavers rapidly between bass and soprano, becoming an immediately legendary display of pubescent public humiliation.
Just Show Up At The Same Time. After stalking him to the parking lot, you finally see your fair knight exiting his mom's Dodge Caravan. Harnessing the confidence that evaded you in the weeks leading up to this moment, you jump out of the bushes and scream, “Let’s do this thang!” The utopian image in your head of the two of you dancing until dawn did not include a trip to the nurse’s office to wash pepper spray out of your eyes.
Cast a Spell on Him. This is the easiest way of all. Poof! He understands that you're meant to be together for all of eternity! The problem is, you still don’t know the “undo eternal love” spell, and didn’t foresee your attraction to him fading by Thanksgiving break.
Lots of Balloons. This one we haven't thought through entirely, but there are definitely balloons involved. Maybe a monkey in a little suit? Confetti?
Scrabble Style. Nerds unite! You strategically play the words YOU, ME, and DANCE during your lunchtime Scrabble sesh. Sadly, his responses are UGLY, AMAZING, and NO.
Rumor. Have a friend start a rumor that you and your crush are going to the dance together. She'll approach you at some point to discuss this wacky rumor, and that’s when you turn on the charm. “Wanna prove everyone right?” is a good line, as is, “Whoever started that rumor must be psychic.”
Jedi Mind Trick. Consider this one a less permanent way to cast a love spell. Wave your hand past his face and utter these words: “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” No, this has nothing to do with the dance, but if he’s a Star Wars fan, he'll find this super endearing, thus causing him to ask you to the dance.
Send Flowers To Her Work. Nothing funny about this one. If she likes you, she'll totally say yes! This is also known as the grown-up version of Old School.
What's the best/worst asking story you've ever heard?