Reading these euphemisms for sex from the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, can't you imagine a young Charles Dickens giggling and taking notes? "Blanket hornpipe" is just so much more poetic. In that vein, we offer these more old-fashioned-sounding terms for kissing:
1. Smucker the pucker
Used to indicate two people kissing who are just kind of jamming their mouths together.
2. Make FaceTime
It has nothing to do with an iPhone.
3. Bussing bandit
"Buss" is an old word for kiss, and a "bussing bandit" is one who makes out and then takes off.
4. Linguistic lobster
Someone who accidentally bites your tongue while kissing.
Someone who prefers the French style of kissing.
6. Dry rub
7. Kick a can down Tin Pan Alley
To make out with someone with braces.
8. Clean your ears
To kiss someone's ear, as in "When I walked in, he was cleaning her ears."
9. Pull into Osculation Station
To go in for the kiss.
10. Sliding door
The missed kiss; when someone turns his or her head right as someone is about to kiss him/her.
A kiss so good it leaves you reeling, addictive.
12. Wordless conversation
A polite way of saying "we made out"—"we had a wordless conversation."
Someone who kisses you when you don't want to be kissed.
The kind of kiss you give when you haven't seen each other in awhile.
15. Get a Slurpee
Just like it sounds.